When you understand this mindset,nothing is happening to me .everytimg is abopening for my growth ,redirections and protection . you stop asking, “Why does this always happen to me?” and start looking at things rationally and objectively. You begin to understand that Allah Ta’ala may be using these experiences for your growth.

Of course, when you work on your healing, Allah Ta’ala can help you reach your potential by learning the lessons these experiences offer. If you don't learn from them, you may find yourself repeating the same patterns through different people and situations.

A wise person learns not only from their own life but also from other people's experiences, books, and the guidance Allah Ta’ala has given us. Even love has a guidebook. There are books on the psychology of relationships that teach us how to understand people, build healthy relationships, and make better decisions.

I can't play these games, and I always say one thing: just because you don't want to work on yourself, can't regulate yourself, or keep running away from healing doesn't mean you don't need it. Sometimes, you keep avoiding the very work that could help you grow. And perhaps that's why you're here: because, deep down, you know you need to learn.

Think about it. Every instruction, recipe, menu, toy, and object comes with a manual. Yet we expect to navigate life, love, emotions, and relationships without learning how they work.

Life has lessons. Love has a guidebook, too.And Ridha Tariq, I literally saw how much she had learned about feminine energy and cat energy. She was calm and regulated. The fact is, Saif guilt-tripped and manipulated his group members, telling them not to go to certain people because they talked about them. But Ridha always maintained her self-identity. She would spend five or ten minutes, or have small talk with everyone, regardless of fights or disagreements.

She had a filter. She didn't become disrespectful during arguments. She put her point across, so people listened to her. Others might have been extremely rude to other contestants, but they didn't treat her the same way. When you're unfiltered and disrespectful, you make it easier for others to treat you the same way. Eventually, people stop listening to you, even when you have a valid point.

When you build bonds, network, and develop social skills, you create mutual courtesy, cordiality, and respect. Ridha built bonds with all the contestants but mostly spent time with Saif. And remember, being comfortable in silence with someone is also communication. Learn to sit together without feeling the need to fill every silence.

Second, learn when to walk away from a group gathering or a conversation after you've spent quality time together. Sometimes, leaving while the other person is still enjoying your company creates room for them to look forward to seeing you again. These are all social skills.

Third, just observe Ridha Tariq. There are plenty of videos to watch, but you need to understand the psychology behind her behaviour. She had actually learned and embraced these skills, and it showed in her feminine energy and conduct, even during those 24-hour live sessions.

Look at Kaval Faruq. Kaval overgave so much that she even burned her hands making parathas for them, yet they wouldn't take a stand for her. During games, they would discuss how they had to make Ridha win, while telling Kaval that simply praising her would make her happy. People can sense when someone is emotionally empty and constantly seeking validation. One sign can be overgiving: sidelining yourself and prioritizing everyone else.

That's not how healthy relationships are built. You have to prioritize yourself, maintain boundaries, and rationally and objectively decide how much to invest. In the beginning, figure out what you want and be clear that you're looking for a serious relationship. If someone doesn't want the same thing, let them walk away. If someone becomes performative to win you over, observe their consistency. Don't reveal everything about your ideal partner too early, because some people may simply mirror your preferences to impress you.

Sometimes, when you become overly attached to someone, a job, or a situation, give sadaqah and make dua to Allah Ta'ala: if this is harmful for me, let it be removed from my life with aafiyat. And if it is good for me, make it a source of sukoon, thandak for my eyes, and goodness in my life. Ask Allah to help you develop the skills to maintain a healthy bond, recognize its value, and nurture it in the right way.

Kaval overgave and kept doing things to help others win tasks. Yet when Ridha left for a month or two, Saif cried so much and missed her. This shows that a bond can make someone's absence felt, even when that person wasn't constantly overgiving. But remember, absence alone doesn't create love; a genuine connection does.

Ridha and Saif had respectful banter, friendship, and comfortable silence. These things build connection. Saif would flirt with her and look at her lips, but Ridha never reciprocated that particular behaviour. She maintained her dignity and boundaries. Saif was playing both Kaval and Ridha, but Kaval became so emotionally invested that she started losing herself. She was even thinking about marrying him, despite the fact that he was already married. She cooked for him, sacrificed for him, and tried to win games for him because she had invested too much emotionally.

Never give someone access to things they haven't earned through consistency. When you give too much before someone has demonstrated genuine effort, you risk setting a relationship dynamic in which they receive everything without having to reciprocate. But when a man shows consistency and makes an effort, appreciate him wholeheartedly. Be joyful, happy, and appreciative, even when the gesture is small. Your appreciation encourages mutual effort and creates a positive bond.

Be joyful, feminine, and warm on the outside, but maintain firm boundaries internally. Know your priorities and make decisions accordingly. When both people understand boundaries, communicate clearly, and resolve conflicts maturely, unnecessary jealousy and obsession become less likely. You understand each other better and learn how to reassure one another. Both people should feel secure enough to communicate when something bothers them and work through it together.

Ridha was calm, emotionally regulated, joyful, feminine, and soft, but she prioritized her individual game. She didn't come there to support Saif or become part of a ship. She came to play her own game and put herself first. Even when Saif guilt-tripped her by saying nobody supported him, she made it clear that everyone was playing individually and that they had to look after their own interests, too. She maintained her boundary without becoming rude.

Kaval, on the other hand, was vulnerable to guilt-tripping because of her empathy and overgiving mindset. Sorry to say, I used to be like that, too. Trying too hard to be the nice person, constantly explaining how you had considered someone else's feelings, and overjustifying your actions can make your intentions look less genuine. People can often sense when you're trying too hard to prove how much you've done for them. You end up prioritizing them over yourself and diminishing your own sense of worth.

A healthy self-concept means you don't make another person the centre of your universe. Have your own life, gym schedule, skincare routine, hobbies, poetry classes, yoga, and personal goals. Maintain your identity and independence. This naturally gives a relationship room to breathe, while allowing both people to look forward to spending time together.

But independence doesn't mean abandoning your partner or making them beg for your attention. Your partner is an important part of your life, too. Give them quality time, care, and affection while maintaining your own identity.

The goal is not to become unavailable or play games. It's to build a secure bond without losing yourself.1Wapas aane ke baad bhi Kaval group, GC mein gayi aur itni overexcited ho gayi ke mujhe toh lag raha hai hamari dost wali ship hogi. Matlab, aap logon ne ship kiya kyunke she thought she never had a chance with him. Toh fans delusional hain, woh unki shipping hai. Aap kyun delusional ho rahe ho? Aap itne hype mein aur itne zyada invested kyun ho? Log toh pata nahi kya kya bolenge.

The fact, your pick, childhood pick, and Daniyal pick. Toh bachche, meri childhood dekho, aap se milte hain. Meri nahi, iski aur uske milte hain. Bachche almost ek jaise hi lagte hain, khaas taur pe jin ki thodi gandumi rangat ho. Pakistani aur Indian features mein unnees-bees ka hi farq hota hai. But why put so much meaning into it? Because shippers want to justify why they are so attached to that ship.

Same with dramas. They know it's a writer's story, but the theme makes it more beautiful, the second chance and all. Otherwise, serious chemistry aap kisi ke saath bhi build kar sakte ho, agar aap mein woh skills hain. But comfortability bahut kam logon ke saath hoti hai, jahan aap woh scenes naturally kar sakte ho. And he is not that person.

Chemistry, tension, and butterflies aap criminals aur playboys ke saath bhi feel kar sakte ho, and playboys are often best at creating that feeling. You need someone with whom you feel safe and secure. Of course, apna self-concept aur yeh skills aapko khud develop karni hain. But someone should add value and peace to your life, not problems. Partnership loyal aur supportive honi chahiye.

Choose someone by observing how he behaves when you're on your healing journey. Will he be supportive? Patterns samajhne ke baad aapko khud pata hota hai. Fantasy aur delusion mein mat raho ke aap kya chahte ho ke woh ho. Just observe his patterns: inconsistency, hot-and-cold behaviour, confusion, and everything.

And the fact, Areeb and Iqra, Kaval from Sisterology, unki family ka conservative mahaul hai. But Iqra is friends with many people. She's extroverted in a platonic way, not necessarily a romantic way. That's why I always say, build your muscle memory. Interact with people, socialise, aur khush raho.

Khama-kha situationships, validation, romantic obsession, music sun sun ke romance ko centre of the universe banana, situationships mein ghusna, apni frequency lower karna, aur ghar pe jaa kar daydreaming karna—get out of that zone. I used to be like that, too. I used to be shy, and people would interpret my shyness, facial scanning, and looking at lips as signals. Khama-kha unwanted attention milti thi, jo mujhe chahiye hi nahi hoti thi. Is tarah life ka balance aur frequency kharab hoti hai. I like to maintain my balance. Jo insaan right hoga, woh apne waqt par aa jayega. Main apni growth par focus kar rahi hoon, aur jab tak main relationship aur susral ko handle karne ki skills develop nahi karti, tab tak no marriage. Okay? Single life enjoy karo, aur saath grow bhi karo. Marriage life mein responsibilities hoti hain, aur agar right partner aa bhi jaye, toh us relationship ko handle karne aur apni value maintain karne ki skills honi chahiye.

So, by the way, Kaval and Ridha ke topic par, Kaval ki itni low-class, cheap harkatein—stories lagana, fans ke kehne par ke aap dono shaadi kar lo, itna khush hona, dupatte pehen pehen kar dulhan banna, aur jab fans Saif ki wife Manahil ka naam lete toh itna jealous aur uncomfortable ho jaana. Phir apne ghar mein bhi is tarah ki baatein karna.

Ridha ghar se bahar aayi toh fans unki decent friendship ko ship karte the. Usne sirf woh posts lagaye jo friendship-type the. No delusional vibes, no mixed signals, nothing. Uske baad Saif openly live mein usse flirt karta tha, but she never gave in. Woh bas friendly bond ke according react karti thi. It was very clear. Saif khud bhi kehta tha ke Ridha classy aur mature hai.

Classy rehna, apni dignity ko top par rakhna—same as Esha Singh from Bigg Boss. Jab uske friend ne poocha ke aap dono ka kuch chal raha hai, although she was lenient towards him, usne kaha ke is baare mein baat na karo, main yeh narrative nahi chahti. Friendship woh openly express karti thi, lekin usne clear rakha ke unke beech love angle nahi chahiye. And she maintained her dignity. Of course, friendship openly express karni chahiye. Aisa bhi nahi hona chahiye ke aap doosre bande ko gaslight karo ya uski existence aur efforts acknowledge hi na karo.

Look at how she was supportive, calm, and secure, even when he tested boundaries. Woh calm aur secure thi kyunke uski apni life thi. Agar woh kuch harkatein karta, she would withdraw her excess energy and put it back into herself. Not threatening him, not saying ke mere paas bhi bahut saare options hain. She simply redirected her energy towards herself and her growth.

Watch Urwa Hussain. Jab Farhan aur Urwa ki separation hui, watch their Tich Button interviews. Usne khud ko grow kiya. Apni skin aur body par kaam kiya. Woh lazy ho kar depression mein nahi baithi rahi. She worked on herself.

Breakup ke waqt bhi aapka mindset aisa hona chahiye: agar cheezein work out hoti hain, toh theek; agar nahi hoti, toh bhi main accept karungi. Is tarah aap breakup se better move on kar paate ho, kyunke aapne apni energy khud ko grow karne mein laga di. Aap detached ho jaate ho. Aur detachment mein sab kuch hai. Relationships bhi flourish karte hain jab aap secure aur balanced hote ho, na ke obsessive aur desperate. Jaise Zarya and Bano, obsessive love aksar breakups tak le jaata hai.

And the fact, Urwa ne 70-30 look rakha, meaning she looked at Farhan only 30% of the time, not 70%. That creates a dynamic where a man feels more inclined to pursue. Hum aajkal internet par apni fantasies aur emotional-soothing statements ko itna promote karte hain ke balance bhool jaate hain. Never become desperate.

Aur aap desperate nahi bante jab aapko apne ghar ke mardon ke saath safe aur secure feel hota hai, unse cuddle waghera karte ho aur connection banaya hota hai. Toh bahar jaa kar woh desperate energy nahi hoti. And don't make romance the centre of your universe, either.

Woh respectful rahi, har waqt smile karti rahi. Smile, decent, classy, elegant, feminine, street-smart plus book-smart, boundaries, higher self-worth, self-concept, and clear priorities. Usne bahut achhe se communicate kiya, respect di, respect li, aur secure rahi.

Even if he was feeling uncomfortable, she remained composed because she had learned to manage her expressions. Aapko bhi practice karni chahiye. Aapke facial expressions par aapka control hona chahiye. That's why main kehti hoon apne expressions practice karo. Kyunke jab koi banda awkward ho raha ho aur aap bhi awkward expressions dene lago, toh mahaul uncomfortable ho jaata hai. Doosra insaan bhi andar se cheezein feel kar raha hota hai, lekin aap apne expressions se yeh show kar dete ho ke main insecure ya jealous ho rahi hoon. Phir log samajhne lagte hain ke aap insecure ya jealous ho. Because you don't have control over your expressions.

When I become awkward, maine ek expression fix kiya hua hai ke maine woh expression karna hai. Smile ko apni personality ka part banao, not moody swings and expressions.

Music, daydreaming, aur romance ko apni life ka centre mat banao, kyunke iski wajah se mood swings zyada hote hain. Aap temporary cheezon ke peeche chase kar rahe hote ho instead of building your inner world. Aur koi kisi ko complete nahi karta, even parents and mothers don't complete you.

Jitna aap apne aap ko build karte ho aur aapki inner world rich hoti hai, utni hi aapki life mein achhi cheezon ke liye jagah banti hai. Aap apne standards ke according choices karna seekhte ho. Koi insaan sirf naturally beautiful ya handsome hone se valuable nahi ban jaata. Jitna woh apne aap ko healthy way mein grow karta hai, utna hi woh apni life mein better choices aur relationships build kar sakta hai.

And remember, healthy beauty always wins over beauty that isn't taken care of, even if someone is naturally the most beautiful person. Radiance and healthiness are attractive because of good posture, elegance, femininity, taking care of your health, emotional self-worth, and discipline. These things reflect in your overall appearance, including a toned face and body.