Women jump to 10 while men are still in their figuring-out zone. Women connect emotionally first, while men are still on the outer layer. So what do you need to do? First, you need detachment skills. You need to have your own growth and skills, and your first sequence of life should be Allah, the centre of your universe. Then your growth and skills. Everything else is a part of life. Usmein drama ko kya lena dena? When you understand the frequency of life and certain things, you'll understand that everything has a frequency. Quran ki Surahs mein woh wazaif hain jinse frequency change hoti hai. And after studying neuroscience and neuroplasticity, you'll understand why Islam is the true religion. I'm not talking about emotional, ego-soothing statements. I'm talking about understanding things.

For that, you need detachment. Healing aap Allah Ta'ala ke paas lekar jaate ho. Apne secrets har kisi ke saath share nahi karte. But socialize. Islam mein husn-e-akhlaq, logon se milna, aurton ki community gatherings aur logon ke saath achay relations maintain karna bhi part of it hai.

So now just socialize. Be joyful with boundaries. Women should have a soft exterior. Men are visual creatures. They appreciate women who confidently and extrovertly hang out, are joyful, and enjoy themselves, while also being tough with their boundaries. Steel mindset, rational, strategic and calculative. Aur yeh cheez khud dikhani nahi hoti. Aapke aura se feel ho jata hai ke she's not someone to mess with. Isko easy nahi lena. Isko mistreat karke nahi jana.

But be friends with everyone, even male friends. Be supportive and appreciative. Okay? And then just live your life. Stay friends like that. Saat, eight ya das saal, it's not your duty to figure out Allah's decision. Aap bas apni life mein grow karte hue aise raho. Socially grow karo, skincare karo, lymphatic drainage karo and be joyful.

Kidhar bhi ja rahi ho, just tell yourself ke maine wahan jaa kar enjoy karna hai. Udhar ladke hon ya ladkiyan, it doesn't matter. Just be joyful, supportive and appreciative. But still maintain that aura. Of course, main apne liye jo behtar hai, main woh hi choose karungi. Dusron ko bhi aapki taraf se wrong expectations nahi honi chahiye ke you'll overgive.

And also have witty comebacks and the habit of giving quick, appropriate jawab. Mazak mazak mein ha ha karke, aur foran Iqra Kanwal se yeh seekho. Is tarah aap situation ko cover bhi kar lete ho, dil mein baat bhi nahi rakhte, and you have the tools to give back as well.

To yeh kaise aayega? Apni life khud build karni hogi. In cheezon ko learn karo, grow karo, charisma, communication skills, commands check karo. Podcasts mein certain people ko observe karo.

And I'll tell you about Ruchika Malhan, Dimple Malhan Vlogs, and Iqra Kanwal. The way they have handled their married lives is absolutely peak level.

So just stay like this. Allah Ta'ala ne jis insaan ke liye jis waqt rishta likha hota hai, Allah Ta'ala us insaan ke dil mein mohabbat bhi daal dete hain. Pata hai yeh baat? To har cheez mein Allah ki taraf ruju karna hai. Phir wohi baat aa jayegi: your sequence of life.

Centre of the universe Allah. Surah Waqiah parho aur Allah par tawakkul rakho. Then apni growth and skills. Allah Ta'ala aapke liye banda le kar aa jayenge. Then apni growth and skills se aapne apni value build karni hai.

And understand male psychology and biology. Until a man himself feels ready, chooses you and proposes, never beg him or plead with him ke I'm waiting for your proposal. Be friends with them. Aur woh bhi desperation se nahi. Bas agar aapko kisi ke liye thodi attachment feel hone lage, Allah Ta'ala ko sadqa de do aur dua karo ke Allah Ta'ala, agar yeh acha hai toh afiyat ke saath naseeb farma dein, aur agar ismein koi bhalai nahi toh balaayein taal dein.

Aur waise just be joyful. Itni zyada overinvestment karne ki kya zarurat hai? Just be friends, jaise sab ke saath ho. Socialize karo, supportive, appreciative, joyful and maintain boundaries. Is tarah aap kisi bhi insaan ke saamne awkward ya nervous nahi hote. Aapki energy bhi magnetic aur lighthearted hoti hai. Bas itna hi karna hai.

Aur in cheezon ke liye aapko apne liye grow karna padega, skills develop karni hongi aur apna sequence of life theek karna padega. Shaadi tabhi honi hai jab Allah ne likhi hai. To yeh cheezein Allah ke haath mein hain. Apne upar kyun sawar ki hui hain? Live your life. Apne Allah ko khush rakho, uske baad apni growth and skills, detachment aur social skills pe kaam karo. Bas.

And work on your soft exterior and expressions. Expressions are everything. Reactions are everything. I repost Daisy 567889's reactions. I'm not reposting them for their clothes. I'm reposting their adorable reactions, expressions and poses.

And remember Hazrat Ali's quote: Nothing in the world is worth your tears. Aapne duniya ko itna apne dil aur dimagh par sawar kyun kiya hua hai?

And giggling skills, smiling skills. You don't need to be funny. Mostly, I don't actually laugh at jokes now. Duniya ka har joke itna funny nahi hota. But genuine smiling and laughing reactions make the environment light and fun.

And with men, you just need to be cute and have a beautiful laugh. Awkward laugh nahi, jisse unko feel ho ke you're desperately trying to make them happy. But sometimes smile, sometimes giggle. And master this not just for men, but for everyone around you.

Even while talking, conversation ke beech mein aur end mein kahin bhi strategically apna giggle add kar do. Just like Sara Khan, the Pakistani actress, does. Itna aapka dil karta hai usko sunne ka.

And watch Ruchika Malhan's recent podcast. They were literally saying ke movie itni mazedaar nahi thi, but because they were laughing, the company mattered so much. They started laughing too, along with his wife and mother. So men also feel boosted in that kind of environment.

And after marriage, don't nag a man. Appreciate the little things he does. Even agar woh kuch khaas nahi bhi karta, unki chhoti chhoti efforts mein se koi ek cheez choose karke appreciate karo. "I love the way you take that box." "I love the way you did that for me." They will show up for you more.

And always respect a man publicly. These are two important things, especially after marriage, but in real life as well.

Understand your worth and understand your value. You need to have the power to choose intelligently ke mujhe yeh insaan choose karna hai ya nahi. Aapki pregnancy, aapke periods, aapke bachon ki parwarish, everything depends on choosing the right father.

Our feelings, out of feelings. Kya feelings hoti hain? Your nervous system feels safe and calm around that person. Bollywood ki romanticized fantasy chemistry aur all that. Iske upar aap apni zindagi daao pe laga doge? How stupid and self-abandoning.

And then the second method you choose is trauma bonding, ke he gets me. Main jo healing khud apne liye nahi kar sakti, woh mere liye mujhe thodi der acha feel kara leta hai. Desperate ho kar is tarah kisi ke saath attach ho jaate ho ke thodi der ke liye acha feel ho jayega. Situationships waghera mein parh jaate ho. Baad mein sabko result pata hai.

Aapne apni healing jitni khud apne upar kaam karke karni hai, utna hi aapki inner world aur frequency elevate hogi. That's how you'll be able to choose the right things, and you'll actually start choosing what is right for you. You also attract better things according to your standards.

You should be complete within yourself. Another person should come as someone who adds value and brings partnership. You can't burden another person with everything.

And I want to be a centred woman in my own life. Like, thodi si romance ki feeling ke liye main khud apne liye khush nahi ho sakti? If I can't keep myself happy, agar main apne aap ke saath itni disloyal hoon ke doosra banda aayega toh main khush houngi, then that's a problem.

Main comments mein jaungi, mujhe pata hai wahan jaa kar parhungi toh kuch na kuch negative dekhne ko milega. It's stupid to go there and expose yourself to that. Let your PR handle it. Itne paise kyun kama rahi ho? Go and enjoy life. Exercise karo, doosri cheezein karo, sports activities karo. Har jagah aur har kisi se attach hone ki zarurat nahi hai.

I don't think Saboor is ever fully attached to anyone. I'm going to tell you something. Just make a connection. People love it when you make a little connection with them, appreciate small things and make them feel seen, heard and comfortable. And maintain that connection. Aapko bas itna karna hai. You don't need to overgive for anyone.

Be social. Approach people. Koi na koi har waqt ek zamane mein awkward tha, awkward harkatein ki hain. Ab female friends hain. Even when travelling, strangers ke saath interact kar lo. Yeh practice se hi zyada hoga. Be extroverted.

I used to be INFJ. Now I'm ISFP. And my MBTI keeps changing because I don't cage myself in one MBTI type. Main dekhti hoon ke is MBTI ke cons kya hain. Then jo pros hain woh rakh leti hoon, baaki cons ko change karti rehti hoon.

MBTI ka matlab yeh nahi hota ke aap apne aap ko kisi ek personality type mein stuck kar lo. Some people do that: "I'm just like this." No. You need to keep growing and evolving.

Allah Ta'ala ne adaptable skills insaan mein isi liye daali hain. Lekin shaitan ne humein mobile phones par laga kar un cheezon se influence karna shuru kar diya hai jis tarah woh chahta hai. Jabke Allah Ta'ala ne insaan ko adaptable banaya hai, ke aap apna environment khud create kar sakte ho, apni choices se.

So understand my point.

When a man wants to propose, he will propose. And actually aapke andar woh confidence hona chahiye. Socialize karo, sabke saath as a friend raho. Joyful connections banao, be supportive. Aur is tarah jab aap friendship maintain karte ho, toh naturally bond bhi ban sakta hai.

Men also feel a little mysterious: Is she into me or not? That little lighthearted energy.

Then after years, if you both are compatible and understand each other, you can decide whether you want to propose or not. If not, then okay. You weren't meant for each other.

But let a man propose. I will always tell you that.