Men give little bits of breadcrumbs, and dumb women take them, treat them like a whole meal, and jump onto a person, forgetting all their patterns. Then they ask, “Why am I always treated like this?” Because you're teaching him that if he gives you the bare minimum, despite the things he's done and the patterns he's shown, you'll still accept it. That's the tone you set for the relationship, friendship, situationship, co-actor dynamic, or even when a committed man makes moves on you.

That is the biggest red flag you need to recognise. No girl, no person is special enough to be the exception. He will do the same to you if he's committed to someone and giving signals to another person. After some time, he'll do it with a third person if he feels a stronger connection with them. So never fall into that trap. Never lose your integrity. Be rational, because makafaat-e-amal is a very powerful thing.

You also set the standard for how cheaply you're willing to be treated. If you crave cheap dopamine, you'll always be stuck in that loop. But if you maintain firm standards for what you want in life and constantly grow your skills and yourself, the universe will sometimes test you: Are you firm in your standards? When you pass that test, it's as if the universe finally sees, “Achha, yeh sirf khokhla standard nahi hai; yeh firm standard hai.” Then it's as if the coal has been polished into a diamond, ready to become jewellery. And you'll get situations, a life, a job, and people that align with those standards.

And remember, in sab se bhi upar akhirat hai. A girl I know did everything and has the most loving husband. Suddenly, one night, he just fell to the floor in the new house he was building. Ek din mein poori zindagi badal gayi.

So don't make romance your whole life, and don't think, “Koi aayega toh mujhe khush karega.” Happiness is a choice. You make the decision to make yourself happy, but not through cheap happiness. Choose happiness that's actually good for your body: discipline, the gym, being healthy, healthy dopamine instead of cheap dopamine, oxytocin, and avoiding haram dopamine. Every hormone has a role, and we need to learn how to direct our emotions in the right direction.

Hazrat Ali ka quote hai: agar kisi raaste ka safar khoobsurat hai lekin uski manzil ka pata nahi, aur doosre raaste ka safar thoda mushkil hai but manzil khoobsurat hai, toh always choose the raasta jiska safar thoda mushkil hai but manzil khoobsurat hai. And that applies to everything.

When we go to the gym and exercise, we do it out of self-love, self-loyalty, and self-respect. Hum lazy ho kar kuch bhi kha sakte hain, but we love ourselves enough to recognise that certain things aren't good for our bodies. Sugar can affect our health as we age, make our emotions fluctuate, and affect our performance. Going to the gym is a task, but you also start enjoying it. Uske baad jo khushi milti hai, that is the biggest contentment. After growing and developing a skill for two or three months, the progress itself becomes one of the biggest achievements and sources of contentment you can experience in life.

Main bohat overemotional thi. Now I'm so calculative and rational, but with integrity. And I'm still developing. I'm not saying meri skills khatam ho gayi hain. I'm still developing.

I only take professional advice based on neuroscience, neuroplasticity, Islam, psychology, relationship advice, detachment, and the law of the universe. I read all of that, but I verify it against neuroscience, neuroplasticity, and Islam. If the advice and thinking align with those, then I consider them; otherwise, I don't. That's conviction. That's our biology.

No emotional-soothing statements like, “Oh, don't wear vulgar clothes. Everyone has their own choice.” No. When we see certain things, our emotions respond; we can get turned on, and after some time, we may want to masturbate and things like that. That's a fact. I can't lie about it.

If you constantly have an algorithm full of cheap dopamine, yes, you'll get stuck in that loop. I used to listen to music every day, every night, even while sleeping. Now, no one believes that I've stopped listening to music. I used to write poetry, too, but I stopped watching poetry videos. Yes, I journal, but I don't watch poetry videos at all.

That's unhealthy because people get stuck in the past. They keep their emotions stuck there, influence their own emotional state, and get pulled into that mood. It lowers your frequency, then you become desperate, and you start attracting bad things. Phir har cheez bohat kharab ho jaati hai. That's why music is haram.