I’ve also seen that men already experience lust, so don’t evoke it unnecessarily by looking at their lips or creating extra intimacy, even during acting scenes or in any other situation. You can see how a man’s heart softens when you’re adorable, gentle, and have warmth in your eyes. That can create a deeper emotional connection. But when you keep looking at his lips and increasing intimacy, you can evoke more lust.

That can become troublesome for you later in the relationship or marriage because, when something becomes normal for him, he might start looking for adventure elsewhere to experience that same excitement again. But if a man maintains a regular level of lust without constantly seeking more stimulation, that’s different.

When you don’t keep looking at his lips and instead become a source of peace, relaxation, warmth, and adorable energy, you create a different experience. I’ve even seen married women who don’t unnecessarily evoke lust in their husbands because they understand that it can become troublesome for them. This applies even in the early dating phase. When you keep looking at a man’s lips and creating extra intimacy, control your gaze. I used to do that, too, and it actually created more trouble for me.

First, it lowers your frequency, invites unwanted attention, and then you come home daydreaming about it. You end up making your life more complicated. Why? Because romance is ahead of you in zindagi. You should be able to focus on your hobbies instead of dealing with unwanted attention and unnecessary thoughts.

That’s why I started controlling my shy behaviour and also worked on becoming more extroverted.

And when someone says, “This is who I am. I can’t change,” they don’t understand biology. So many of our behaviours are repeated patterns we’ve adopted since childhood, and those patterns shape us. Break the pattern and repeat a new habit consistently, and you can become different. It’s as simple as that. “I am what I am, and I can’t change” can be an ego-soothing statement that keeps you stuck in the same patterns.

People who attract good things and build the lives they want often change their behaviours and create their own algorithms. Your environment matters, too. Eventually, you start getting things that align with your inner standards.

In the early stages of a relationship, when you evoke lust, a man can become very performative, making it difficult to distinguish whether he genuinely likes you or is primarily driven by lust. Of course, you can understand a lot through pattern reading and observation, but you can waste so much time because you still need to give the relationship time to reveal itself.

So, first, sadqa do before starting a relationship or entering any situation. Sadqa can help avert difficulties, and even when something doesn’t turn out as you hoped, you can ask Allah for aafiyat. Then observe without giving in too quickly. Just bring joyful energy, enjoy yourself, and observe his behaviour.

Don’t reveal everything you like or dislike in a relationship too early, because a man can become performative once he knows exactly what you want. And honestly, excessive intimacy can look undignified on screen, too. Even in couple psychology, there’s that idea that if a woman looks at a man’s lips, he may interpret it as a signal to kiss her.

So, when you don’t keep looking at a man’s lips, he may feel that he wants you more than you want him. That feeling can make the early dating phase more exciting for him. I’m not talking about marriage here; I’m talking about the very early stages of dating, when you’re still getting to know each other and haven’t committed.

A man needs to feel invested and genuinely interested in you, and that can happen when you allow the connection to develop naturally. Just be joyful and energetic without giving extra signals. Be cordial and friendly while allowing him to feel charmed by you. Kitne pyare, soft experiences!

Men can love a woman with whom they feel comfortable expressing their masculinity. Stop feeling that you always have to be in your masculine energy. Watch dating shows where women are soft, bubbly, cute, funny, and enjoying their own time while also allowing a man to take initiative and offer help.

Apni soft cheezen embrace karo. If you’re doing something and can’t manage it properly, sometimes a man will naturally want to step in and help you. Even in marriage, if he jokes, “Isko toh koi kaam nahi aata,” take it as a roast or a funny statement rather than getting offended, the way Iqra Kanwal might.

And sometimes, when you say, “Oh, mujhe chot lag gayi,” you don’t need to dramatise it, but men can still enjoy feeling that they can protect you, care for you, and do things for you. They like feeling that way.