I will tell you about men, so you get a clear understanding.

Men often enjoy being surrounded by women, even when they are loyal and the greenest flags. You can see it in older couples too, where uncles and aunties are sitting together, and another aunty comes and joins them. You can observe certain things in their behaviour.

I'm not saying that thoda bahut interaction is wrong. But a man who has wandering eyes should make you cautious. And agar aapki khud ki bhi wandering eyes hain, to apni islah karo. A man who constantly looks around at other women is someone you should be careful about, no matter how strong his feelings for you might seem. If he has a pattern of seeking attention and constantly desiring other women, that pattern can eventually lead to cheating when the opportunity arises.

There are so many beautiful and charming people out there. When you spend time with someone, develop a connection, and build a bond, infatuation can develop. Isliye Islam mein bhi mardon aur aurton ke darmiyan boundaries aur haya ki itni importance hai. Aapko apni nazar aur apne dil ki hifazat karni chahiye. And for that, you have to be smart enough not to lose yourself in the name of your job.

You can observe this even among a group of male friends or when they're around a random woman jiske saath unka koi relationship bhi nahi hota. Sometimes, there's a subtle, subconscious rivalry between men to win that woman's attention. Eventually, sabne apne ghar chale jaana hota hai, but for some men, that attention becomes validation. It feels like a win, a trophy, or an adventure. They want to feel wanted and prove to themselves that they're still in the game and that women are still interested in them.

So, they'll try different ways to attract a woman's attention. Sometimes, they'll do it through humour and jokes. Sometimes, they'll deliberately ignore her or give her attitude, even when she's professionally asking them a question. They might get on her nerves just to provoke a reaction. And when two or three men are standing together, they might use humour, attitude, or even anger to compete for that woman's attention.

Even if that woman has nothing to do with them, they might still experience jealousy or rivalry over her attention. So, if someone says, “Oh, he was feeling jealous of her,” or “Oh, he was attracted to her,” understand that these reactions alone don't necessarily mean anything deep. Attraction, jealousy, and attention-seeking can be very basic human reactions. Don't take them too seriously and lose yourself in the process. You don't even need to keep analysing every little interaction.

And please, don't get lost in daydreaming.

I'm telling you this because I used to be a daydreamer myself. But I don't stay stuck in that pit anymore. I rationalise my feelings, protect my emotional stability, and pull myself out of that over-emotional zone.

What led me to change? One thing was that I didn't like how I felt. Whenever something happened, I questioned myself. I would think, Mujhe yeh feel nahi karna. That desire to understand myself opened doors to knowledge and learning.

Yeh woh pareshaniyan hain jo meri zindagi mein zaroori nahi ke waqai aayi hon, but Allah Ta'ala ne mujhe unhein samajhne ke liye knowledge di. Just like everything has a guidebook, whether it's a recipe, khana banana, or even a toy, Allah Ta'ala ne humein zindagi guzarne ke liye bhi Quran diya hai.

Duniya ko samajhne aur apni zindagi ko behtar tareeqe se chalane ke liye, Hazrat Ali (RA) se mansoob bohot se aqwaal bhi humein wisdom dete hain. I've noticed that many of these teachings align with principles we discuss today in neuroscience, neuroplasticity, and relationship psychology.

I didn't learn relationship psychology by blindly following one person. I might believe a relationship psychologist 80–90%, but never 100%, because I want to verify what they're saying through neuroscience, neuroplasticity, and Islam.

Pehle neuroscience aur neuroplasticity meri understanding ka sabse important hissa thay. But as I gained more knowledge, I realised that Allah Ta'ala created us, and Allah Ta'ala knows what's best for us.

Jab aap apni biology samajhte ho, ke aapke dimaag mein kya chal raha hota hai aur aapke emotions kis tarah influence hote hain, you begin to understand yourself differently. You realise how your repeated thoughts, habits, and emotional patterns can shape your internal state and behaviour.

For example, if you're constantly stuck in the past, daydreaming about romance, or making another person the centre of your universe, your mind keeps returning to those thoughts. Over time, this can affect your emotional stability, self-worth, and the way you approach relationships.

And that's why I believe the sequence of life matters so much.

Allah first. Your Akhirah first. Your dignity and values come before everything else. You should never compromise your relationship with Allah for anyone. Then comes your personal growth, your skills, your rational thinking, your strategy, and your ability to make calculated decisions while maintaining your integrity. Everything else is part of life.

And when we talk about relationships, that includes your family, your future partner, and the people you choose to keep close. Your job is also an important part of life, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your dignity, values, or relationship with Allah.

I'm not saying you should compromise your career. Look at Aamir Khan and other actors. You can do your job and still maintain your boundaries. Social media par log aapko zaroori nahi ke aapki asli personality ke liye pasand karte hon. Sometimes, they're attracted to an image, a character, or a particular narrative.

So, instead of relying entirely on those charms, develop your own. Learn skills, expressions, storytelling, and creativity. Build something that allows people to appreciate you for who you are.

Actors are often loved because of the characters writers create for them. But you should also build your own identity and fandom beyond the characters you play.

Aap apni creativity se Instagram ko apna TV bana sakte ho. Cinematic reels, storytelling, your own concepts, and a creative vision can help you build your own audience. Haira, your entire team can work on creating that identity together.

And learn to say no to close-proximity sales and marketing when they cross your boundaries. Dignity ke saath bhi kaam hota hai. You can be professional, successful, creative, and loved by your audience without compromising your values.And I'll tell you another very important thing: one of the key aspects of understanding a man's behaviour is pattern reading.

First of all, microexpressions. Microexpressions can sometimes reveal a person's immediate emotional reaction, but you need to back them up with consistent behavioural patterns.

How do microexpressions work? For example, when someone taps you on the back, what is the immediate expression on their face? Jab aap kisi ko pasand karte ho na, that warmth can show in their eyes. But when you don't like someone, you might show sudden surprise, as if you're thinking, Yeh kahan se aa gaya?

However, we all wear masks. We often cover up our immediate reactions with a bigger, socially acceptable expression, such as a sudden smile or, “Oh, how nice to meet you!” This isn't necessarily wrong; it's part of normal social behaviour. But sometimes, the initial reaction and the expression that follows can be different.

Learning to recognise these things takes time. And even then, you cannot determine someone's intentions from one facial expression alone. That's why I want you to focus on building patterns s,subtext it reveals everythimg .taht only comes when u know emotions , words being said amd what it reveals. rather than jumping to conclusions based on individual moments. You can learn to observe microexpressions later, but understanding consistent behaviour and action .subconisous action is far more important.

Now, let's talk about professional relationships first. Later, I'll discuss romantic relationships as well. But the underlying principle is the same: whether someone respects you or not.

If a man never publicly celebrates your achievements or acknowledges you professionally with respect, pay attention to that pattern. And if a man has questionable intentions while working with you, whether you're doing professional work or romantic scenes, his overall behaviour matters even more, especially if he's already committed to someone.

Let's take Daniyaal as an example. If a committed man deliberately becomes excessively touchy with you, that tells you something about his boundaries and his conduct as a person. And if you're a woman who participates in that dynamic, you need to examine your own behaviour too. Agar aap khud aise mardon ki taraf attract hoti hain, then you also need to understand your internal patterns and work on yourself.

I remember my friends and other people questioning how any woman could like Daniyaal, considering the kind of music, lyrics, and objectification associated with him. Some of his lyrics have been extremely vulgar and degrading towards women, and people have also raised concerns about his behaviour.

Kha Khan called him a playboy and described him as horny. made a comment about him carrying condoms in his pocket, and Daniyaal reportedly agreed. Then, on Shahveer Jafri's podcast, he messged him about whether he could kiss someone during Ramadan.

When you look at these examples together, you can understand why people might question his boundaries and self-control. For me, getting involved with someone whose behaviour conflicts so strongly with my values would be difficult to reconcile.

And if someone compared me to a person whose behaviour I found deeply inappropriate, I would feel embarrassed by that comparison. Mujhe foran yaad aayega ke Allah Ta'ala ne humein apne character aur choices ko behtar banane ki kitni importance di hai. I believe in the principle that good men are for good women and good women are for good men, as expressed in the Quran.

I would also question why women might be attracted to someone whose behaviour they know is inconsistent with their own values. Sometimes, attraction can be connected to attachment issues, unresolved emotional patterns, or a tendency to overlook red flags. But that doesn't mean every woman who likes him is the same or has the same issues. The important thing is to understand why we are attracted to certain people and whether those attractions align with our values.

Now, coming back to Daniyaal, if a man is already committed and has behaved in ways that raise questions about his boundaries during professional shoots, you should pay attention to those patterns rather than getting carried away by private attention.

Men respect a woman when she establishes clear boundaries and consistently maintains her dignity.

Even when you're doing romantic scenes, there are ways to portray intimacy that remain decent and subtle. You can communicate the same emotions through softer expressions, body language, and the way a scene is performed without unnecessarily intensifying the physical proximity.

And that's what I want you to understand about your own behaviour. I will publicly support you when appropriate because that's what genuine professional friendliness looks like. But privately, I will also tell you where I think you need to improve. I want you to grow, not simply hear what makes you feel good.

That's how I've approached my own growth. I learned to recognise my patterns, question them, and work on changing them. I also began recognising patterns in my mother and my family.

When a woman maintains her dignity, a man can recognise that she has clear standards and boundaries. But if those boundaries are repeatedly blurred, he might begin to categorise the relationship differently. Subconsciously, he may start treating her as someone with whom he can engage in a more romantic or flirtatious dynamic.

And that's why I question this situation. You're 15 years his senior, yet why would he behave towards you as though you were merely a romantic tool? If the dynamic has become overly romanticised, you also need to examine how your own behaviour might have contributed to it.

Regardless of how privately or sweetly someone speaks to you behind your back, that alone doesn't establish respect. And it shouldn't even be your primary concern if you're not in a relationship with him.

Even when you're in a relationship with someone, private affection means very little if that person consistently fails to acknowledge or respect you publicly. That contrast should give you a reality check about whether the relationship is as serious and respectful as you believe it to be.

Of course, not everyone expresses affection publicly in the same way. But there's a difference between maintaining privacy and treating someone as though they don't deserve to be acknowledged. A person who genuinely admires and respects you should be able to speak about you respectfully, acknowledge your contribution, and maintain consistent behaviour in both public and private settings.

When a man treats a woman as someone he can use for attention or temporary excitement, he may avoid acknowledging her respectfully in public. That's why you should look at the complete pattern rather than letting private conversations convince you of something the person's overall behaviour doesn't support.

Look at Shahveer Jafri and Daniyaal, for example. Daniyaal is younger, and Shahveer has maintained a respectful senior-junior professional dynamic with him. That's how professional relationships can remain respectful in the long term, without unnecessary romantic undertones.

Why do you have to introduce romance into every situation and make people uncomfortable? Zindagi zyada enjoyable, comfortable, aur relaxed rehti hai jab aap har interaction ko romantic angle nahi dete.

You can have friendships, professional relationships, family relationships, relationships with brothers-in-law, and friendships with your partner's friends without creating unnecessary romantic tension or situationships. You don't need to turn every interaction into a test of attraction, jealousy, or validation.

A platonic dynamic can be beautiful, too. Look at the way Shahveer Jafri has honoured and maintained a respectful professional relationship with Daniyaal. That kind of dynamic allows people to work together, enjoy themselves, and maintain their dignity without unnecessary complications.

Life becomes much more peaceful when you stop creating romantic narratives around every relationship and allow people to exist in your life in a genuinely platonic way.And the third thing is, you don't need to care about all of that. Apni personal sanity aur boundaries maintain karo. Agar attraction ho rahi hai, or you think someone is interested in you, you don't need to take care of all of that or overanalyse it.

Jab koi partner ya koi insaan aapki zindagi mein rishta lekar aaye, ya aapke dil mein uske liye hamdardi paida hone lage, sadqa do aur Allah Ta'ala se dua maango. Literally, Allah Ta'ala ne aapko kisi bohot badi museebat se bachaya ho sakta hai. Sadqa do aur dua maango ke agar kal ko is mein koi bala ya museebat hai, toh Allah Ta'ala usay afiyat ke saath taal de. Aur agar is mein mere liye sukoon, khushi aur rahat hai, toh Ya Allah, isay mere liye blessing bana de aur aasani ke saath meri zindagi mein le aa. And also give me the discipline and skills to manage it well.

Is dua ko apni zindagi ka hissa bana lo. Yeh sirf partner ke liye nahi hai; you should do it for every situation, every job, every friend, and every relationship.

Subah uthte hi sadqa do, aur apne din ki shuruaat gratitude ke saath karo. At least ten things you are grateful for.

Kyunke rozana jab hum kehte rehte hain, “Yeh bhi theek nahi ho raha, woh bhi theek nahi ho raha,” toh hum apne ghanton ka bohot saara waqt isi tarah ki complaints mein guzaar dete hain. Iska asar hamare mindset, habits aur un cheezon par bhi hota hai jinhein hum baar baar repeat karte hain. Aur Allah Ta'ala ke saamne bhi humein yeh yaad rakhna chahiye ke hum sirf complaints karne wale bande na ban jaayein, balki uski nematon ko bhi pehchanein aur unka shukar ada karein.

Of course, aapki zindagi mein pareshaniyan aati hain. You need to be conscious of them without making them the centre of your entire life. Allah Ta'ala se dua maango ke woh aapki pareshani door kar de. Agar emotionally hurt feel kar rahe ho, toh Allah Ta'ala ke saamne ro lo, apna dil khol kar dua maango, but don't forget to be grateful for the blessings you already have.

Don't take the things that are easily available in your life for granted: your independence, money, food, water, and health. Aapke paas khana hai, aap paani pee sakte ho, aap chal phir sakte ho. Kal ko agar paani hi available na ho, toh wohi paani kitni badi nemat ban jaayega.

There is a story about a person who had many difficulties in life. An angel came to him and asked what he had to be grateful to Allah for. He replied, “Main Allah ka shukar kyun ada karun? Mere paas toh kuch bhi nahi hai.”

The lesson of the story is that if you keep looking only at what you lack, you'll continue overlooking the blessings you already have.

On the other hand, a person who recognised how much Allah Ta'ala had given him would say, “Allah Ta'ala ne mujhe itni nematein di hain. Main uska shukar kyun na ada karun?” That person remained grateful, and gratitude became a reason to recognise and appreciate even more blessings in life.

And there's another story, although mujhe uska exact waqia clearly yaad nahi, about someone who wasn't in good health but remained grateful to Allah Ta'ala despite their difficulties and eventually became healthy.

So, the point is that gratitude doesn't mean denying your problems; it means acknowledging your problems while never forgetting your blessings.