Personal amd job topic ,:

First improve your self concept , inner word healing father wounf ,mother wound attachment style ,and chupke sy bahar ajaye expressions woh wapis ja k learn karo ,soft voice ,feminity ,channel your feminie energy ,balance your frequency and emotions ,or gain knowledge pattern reading ,and personality development ,dont take things as personal atrach take it as data and skills. Everythings is a skill. Kisi k mahol men unko mil jati hai. But u have power to choose to adapt it now

,staying stuck k men aisi hi hun .phir aesa hi sb mily ga. U attract amd apmi life behtar bnaty ho jb jitna apko khud ko grow. Or apki inner world jitni complete or dich hogi utna apko behtar high standard life and succes things partner job mile gi. Its all k khud ko grow krty rahl is bari contentmnet ni hoti or jb koi b chez ati u can handle it without losing yourslef and apko jb ati hai be partner or anything apko apni value karwany ki skills and handling and managaing skills ajati hai. Be rational objective. Values and integrity. Exterior expresssion not moody but feminine soft smile,hum kiisi ko msukurata hua dekhty hai we feel positive or muskurana sadqa hai. Or ap adorable b lgty ho. Bond more ,expression and reactions and thoughts are everthing it can break or create anything ,to control it ,literally smile k classes b hai k apki smile ap py konsi suit krti just record urself ,practice ,repeat ,channel feminity ,skin care diet care ,sugar and CORTISOL care no1 aging hai. ,learn knowledge And record yourself while practising. Work on public speaking and read one chapter in English every day. Isse aapki language skills bhi improve hongi aur aapko pata chalega ke aap kis tarah baat kar rahe ho.

Second, elegance. Elegantly aur joyfully baat karni hai, with the expressions you've consciously practised, like a smiley expression. Jab aap apne aapko record karte ho, toh koi baat poori tarah bolo, repeat karo, ya ek chapter read karke repeat karo. Phir apne aapko review karo with a smile. Jis tarah aap khana khate ho aur TV dekhte ho, usi tarah naturally apne chehre par smile rakhna aur usi tone mein baat karna seekho.

I set that tone of giggling for myself, ke maine is tarah giggle karna hai, ya apni awaaz ko is tarah use karna hai. Ab main apni awaaz ko bhi soft kar rahi hoon. I literally watch videos of Saiko to Go because she speaks so softly. I want to hear that more, taake main khud bhi us tarah baat karna seekhoon.

Overstimulating content bhi affect karta hai. Kabhi kabhi aapka kisi insaan ki baat sunne ka bhi dil nahi karta. And the fact is, even on-screen or in real life, loud scenes mein bhi aapko softness maintain karni chahiye.

Male actors, even in their masoom scenes, try to build that alpha-male image through their beard, body and hair. So why aren't we women in touch with our femininity? A woman can conquer the world with her femininity, soft skills and boundaries. Soft exterior and a steel mindset: firm inner boundaries, rational and objective thinking, and the ability to see things in the right sequence.

I've already told you: Allah should be the centre of your universe, then your growth and development, and then everything else, including your job, partner and relationship. Isse har cheez mein balance aata hai. Aap kisi bhi cheez mein overly emotional ya obsessive nahi hote.

Your relationships and job flourish more because you don't compromise unnecessarily out of desperation or because you've made one thing the centre of your universe. Compromise ka matlab ye nahi ke aapko bilkul hi kuch nahi karna.

Humne relationships, shaadi aur romance ko unnecessarily hawa bana diya hai. Grow in your single life and enjoy it. Shaadi ek zimmedari hoti hai. Jab tak aapko right life partner milta hai, tab tak aapke paas skills honi chahiye ke aap khud ko kaise value karna hai.

So basically, femininity is about being smart, reading books and growing yourself. You can conquer the world by enriching your inner world, learning, developing emotional stability, understanding childhood trauma and attachment styles, regulating your nervous system, practising elegance, joyful boundaries and femininity, speaking softly, being giggly and smiley, and working on your reactions and expressions.

Also, develop influencing skills, soft skills, interpersonal skills, decision-making skills, conviction, high self-worth, self-loyalty and discipline. Take care of yourself through skincare, diet, lymphatic drainage and facial exercises.

No matter what emotional state you're in, apna khayal karna nahi chhodna. That's called self-loyalty. Jo bhi ho, mujhe consistent rehna hai: skincare karni hai, facial exercises aur facial muscle exercises karni hain, gym jaana hai, walking karni hai, and everything else that helps release stress.

Exercise can improve your overall well-being and muscle tone. But sweating itself doesn't reduce facial fat or lift your face directly. When facial puffiness reduces, your features can look more defined and doll-like. You already have doll-like features, so reducing puffiness can make them stand out more.

When you were doing the hallucination scene, where you looked as though you were imagining him, that scene got talked about more because it was from Rabia Pio. People adored you more. The confession scene felt like shipping-focused, soft-porn-style romance, as if you were being used as a romance puppet. In the end, a certain character got more attention. But in that imagination scene, people talked about you more. They found you adorable because of the way you smiled.

So flirting isn't everything. Adorableness dil mein sarayat karti hai aur logon ke dil mein jagah bana leti hai. Loud scenes mein bhi extra subtlety aur femininity honi chahiye.

Pehle aapke scenes mein aisa hota tha, lekin jaise jaise life aage barhti hai, kabhi kabhi femininity disrupt ho jaati hai. You become hyper-independent and lean more towards your masculine side.

And the fact is, jo log emotional soothing aur ego-soothing talks bech rahe hain, unki baatein zaroori nahi ke neuroscience, neuroplasticity aur Islam ke principles se supported hon. Ye Satan ka agenda hai, aur isi wajah se hum apni full potential tak nahi pahunch paate.

Women who embrace femininity, men who embrace masculinity, and people who understand each other's biology can build stronger relationships and become more successful across different areas of life.

Toh apne loud scenes ko zyada subtlety aur softness ke saath perform karna hai, taake woh dekhne mein bhi easy aur pleasing lagein. Real life mein bhi yehi approach honi chahiye.

The fact is, I used to have a very ugly cry. I literally trained myself to cry more softly and control the sounds I made while crying.

I remember someone crying in front of me. I could understand their emotions, but mujhe ek taraf hansi bhi aa rahi thi. Ek aur incident mein, koi itne bure tareeqe se ro raha tha ke uske gham se zyada mujhe emotional overload feel ho raha tha.

Toh jo cheez main doosron ke liye notice kar rahi thi, I applied it to myself too. Maine apne aapko correct kiya. Understand that. Maine apna rona softer karna seekha. Ab main apni awaaz ko bhi soft kar rahi hoon.

Pehle mere expressions har waqt ghusse wale hote the, but now I can smile like this. So privately bhi apne aapko record karke practise karo. Phir jab aap public mein hote ho, toh naturally smile aane lagti hai because you've trained yourself that way.

Give yourself just two weeks or one month. Just one month. You can build these expressions and smiling skills, literally. Aur agar ek ya do mahine mein ye skills seekh lo, aur woh aapko saari zindagi benefit dein, imagine how worthwhile that is.,Why does controlling access mean .even fights men. b u maintain boundary by access and yahan tu braek up hai. ,and put your energy back to yourself , But when you bring that energy back to yourself, you gradually detach from unhealthy patterns, That's what self-loyalty looks like.And one thing: understand what emotional state you're in. No matter if you're the biggest actress, which you are, you're still not a robot or an alien. If you're not in your joyful, happy era, you cannot perform scenes and serials with that same energy.so dont choose happy roels. be strategic and smart,

You should choose roles strategically. Of course, even if you have intense scenes, you should perform them in a way that brings softness even to hysterical scenes. Otherwise, I love your panic attack scene, but I watch it on mute. Expressions sahi hain, lekin awaaz kaanon mein chubh rahi hai. Aisa nahi hona chahiye.

So understand this: it's a tip. Also, be mindful of your emotional state when choosing roles. For example, when you're in a happy phase of life, you can perform joyful and fun scenes at a much higher level. Agar aap us emotional state mein nahi ho, toh khamakha apne aapko blame mat karo ke aap achhe scenes nahi kar pa rahi. Be strategic and calculative in life. That is called smartness.

And jab tak aap smiling expressions ki skills practise nahi karti, privately aap jo roz repeat karti ho, wohi aapki life mein naturally reflect hota hai aur publicly bhi nazar aata hai. Aap kya soch rahe ho, aapki self-worth low hai ya nahi, bohat kuch aapke expressions se dikh jaata hai.

Confidence tab aata hai jab aapke body ko pata hota hai ke jo marzi ho jaaye, aap apne emotions mein beh kar impulsive harkatein nahi karogi.

Iske liye self-loyalty, discipline, gym, skincare, lymphatic drainage, facial exercises, reading, knowledge, neuroscience, neuroplasticity, Islam, dua, Surah Waqiah, azkar, Astaghfirullah, childhood attachment styles, father-mother wounds, inner healing aur sensory input control par work karna hoga.

In cheezon par work karne se, aur consistent rehne se, your body gradually starts to feel more regulated. And all of this requires discipline. Discipline is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have: no matter what happens, you have your own discipline.

And of course, you become more joyful when you're socially comfortable. Social comfort comes when you regularly laugh and talk with people in your everyday life. So have four or five people who visit your home regularly. Iska matlab ye nahi ke aap apne secrets share karo; just build genuine connections.

Khutsiya, I find her genuine towards you, and there are good people like Wasiq Chaudhry. I understand him. Wasiq Chaudhry se phone par connected raho aur unse advice wagairah lo. Safi Hassan ke saath bhi is tarah ka connection maintain karo. Apne father ke saath bhi aisa bond banao, aur Safi Hassan aur doosron ke saath bhi.

Musaddiq Malik ki birthday par aapne unhein wish bhi nahi kiya, although aap logon ki kaafi achhi bonding thi. That is networking. Apne baba se bond banao. Unhein priority do, lekin doosron ke saath bhi connections maintain karna chahiye.

Safi Hassan, Nadeem Baig aur Musaddiq Malik se connected raho. Mahira Khan, Mawra aur Urwa ke saath bhi cordial relationships rakho. Mawra ki pregnancy post like karo aur usse baat karo. Ismein koi sharam nahi hoti. Urwa ko appreciate kar do.

Aur agar woh aapko waisi energy return nahi karte, you'll have your answer. Phir apni expectations adjust karo aur zyada engage mat karo. Lekin jab aap aisa karte ho, toh aapko experience milta hai. Rationally, logically aur calculatively, apni integrity aur values ke saath decisions lo.

Aur uske baad apne decision se zyada attach mat ho. Bas ye socho ke maine sab kuch dekh kar faisla kiya tha. Agar galat bhi hua, you will not lose yourself. You'll gain experience. Achha, theek hai, dekh liya. Ab aage se measures lo ke kya karna hai aur kitna distance maintain karna hai. Har cheez ko ego ya self-respect ka issue nahi banana.

So, Safi Hassan, Nadeem Baig, and I was also talking about Wasiq Chaudhry. Wasiq Chaudhry ko dekho ke woh logon ko unki limits mein kaise rakhta hai. He's very sweet, especially in the way he conducts interviews, like the one with Yasir Hussain.

Power dynamics aur control dynamics ko apne partner ke saath is tarah use nahi karna chahiye. Lekin professionally aisa environment hona chahiye ke log aapke upar haavi na hon aur aapke saath badtameezi na karein. Khush-ikhlaaq raho, smile karo, lekin saamne wale ko bhi pata ho ke usne apni limits mein rehna hai. Professionally, those boundaries should be there.

I learned from Iqra Kazmi about astrology as well. Come back to the basics: spontaneity, learning and growth. Itna kuch seekhne aur grow karne ke liye hai, aur hum romance mein hi phase rehte hain.

I used to daydream a lot. I used to feel ke koi aayega, koi shahzada aayega aur meri saari problems khatam kar dega. No. Agar woh shahzada aayega bhi, toh zaroori nahi ke sab kuch theek ho jaaye. Meri personal traumas aur insecurities bhi relationship ko damage kar sakti hain. Aur agar main khud par work nahi karungi, toh mujhe relationship mein woh value bhi nahi milegi jo main chahti hoon.

Toh apne aapko best banao. Jab right partner aaye, Allah Ta'ala par chhod do. Surah Waqiah parho, sadaqah do, aur hamesha sadaqah dete raho. Bala ho toh Allah ke hukm se tal sakti hai, aur jo bhi ho, Allah se achhe ki umeed rakho.

Lekin relationship maintain karne aur nibhaane ke skills aapko khud develop karni hain. Uske liye aapko khud hi work karna padega.

Tab tak just enjoy life, grow, evolve and occasionally have fun. Aur fazool logon, baghi logon, aur un logon ko jo apni identity lose kar chuke hain, apne close friends mein shamil mat karo. Sabke saath cordial raho, of course, lekin apne environment mein negativity mat rakho.

I think aap do teen aise influencers ko follow karo jo hijab karti hain. Unse connected raho aur chat par baat karo. Jaise Mirab ne apna ek group circle banaya hua hai, jismein do teen influencers bhi hain, aur ek anonymous group bhi banaya hua hai.

Jab life mein koi difficult situation aati hai, toh aap completely collapse nahi karte because you have a group of friends to support you. Aur us group of friends ke andar bhi hobbies wale friends alag hone chahiye, taake aap kisi ek cheez ko apna markaz na bana lo.

That's how you become detached.vasay Chaudhry ke paas skills hain, comebacks skills ,toh unse baat karo, observe. Amna from something haute rida tariq ,sistrology ,iqra and ruchika from dimple malhan vlogs literally they have knowledge interpersonal and right. Acc to data kamiyabi men or har area of life men .amna the way she handle hassan fragile ego and still put her point across,softly ab blky uski baat manta hai ,pehly amna nag krti thi .but zanjeerain time watch her and hasan interaction .learn alot hnadling skills .or vasay chaudahry ko observe or advice lo aur apna connection maintain rakho.

Now breakup. Topic.

During breakups, the most important thing is to redirect your energy towards yourself. If you're constantly missing someone, talking about them, listening to songs associated with them, monitoring them, or consuming their videos and content, you're repeatedly reminding your brain of them. Your sensory input keeps you mentally connected to that person.

So, how do you control your sensory input? Start gradually. For two hours, then four hours, challenge yourself not to check their content. Aahista aahista, build that distance. Find something else to engage in: pottery classes, social gatherings, genuine friendships, hobbies, and activities that help you grow.

When you're sad, instead of immediately turning to music or repeatedly venting to people, turn to Allah through dua, zikr, and salah. Cry if you need to. Allah knows what's in your heart. Even when you seek support from others, repeatedly discussing the same person can sometimes reinforce your attachment to the situation. I've experienced this myself. The last time I discussed something with my mother repeatedly, I noticed that I became even more attached to the topic.a nd keep your secrets to urself not anyine .hazrat ali quote. if u let your secret out you become prisoner to it amd koi kese b control kr sakta even in emotional state. even sometime ap ki value b km hojati hai. even in family .amd there is one thing ppl should be 5% uncomfortable with u .95% all good but 5% it keeps balance. easily zaleel ,over use ni krty. and that comes from again you creating yiur aura.and ego and self respect same ni hy.

But when you turn to Allah, express your pain through dua, allow yourself to cry, and then reflect rationally and objectively on your own patterns and the other person's behaviour, you can begin to see things more clearly. Learn from the experience. Identify where you were wrong, where the other person was wrong, and what you need to do differently next time. Verify what you learn through sound psychological knowledge and Islamic teachings rather than relying on assumptions.

I've realised that one of the most important things in life is knowing yourself. Understand your emotions, triggers, attachment patterns, and decisions. Your inner world influences how you perceive people, what you tolerate, and the relationships you choose.

The more disciplined and self-loyal you become, the more you teach yourself that you're someone who protects your own emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being, integrity, and dignity. You need to feel safe with yourself. Professionalism doesn't mean tolerating disrespect, and generosity doesn't mean repeatedly adjusting yourself to accommodate someone else's behaviour.

For example, Daniyal wasn't even posting about Sarbiya on his account for a long time, yet you continued investing in that narrative. That's not necessarily generosity; sometimes, it means adjusting yourself according to someone else's choices while overlooking your own interests.

And then there's the issue of narrative control. You did a photoshoot with Ameer and then another with Daniyal back-to-back. Honestly, the way it came across looked cheap to me, almost as though you were doing promotional shoots with one husband and then the other. A drama's storyline is one thing, but the way you present yourself publicly is another. That's why I've said Mahira is very good at controlling her narrative.

Look at Mahira's career strategy. She has maintained her charm and public appeal, and her Instagram feels like an extension of her on-screen personality. Even when opportunities in one area are limited, she continues building her presence elsewhere. Her edits, aesthetic appeal, and audience connection keep her visible. That's a smart way to build a personal brand beyond individual dramas.

It's not even just about relationships. Shehryar didn't even do a kissing scene, yet that doesn't automatically mean he stopped receiving work. An actor's career depends on multiple factors, including the projects they choose, their public image, their marketing, and how audiences connect with them. The point is to build your own identity rather than relying entirely on one drama or one co-star.

Here are some things I would prioritise:

1. Choose projects strategically. Suspense and thriller stories can create strong audience engagement without relying entirely on romantic chemistry.

2. Protect the female lead's centrality. Your character should have meaningful dialogues, a substantial storyline, and a strong individual arc. Don't let the male lead or a love triangle overshadow your character.

3. Be intentional about promotional content. Back-to-back photoshoots and excessive close-proximity promotion can create the wrong impression. Don't let shipper culture dictate your public image. Close-proximity scenes may benefit a show's promotional campaign, but they don't automatically build an actor's individual brand.

4. Invest in positive PR and marketing. Promote your character, your performances, your style, and your creative work. Instagram reels, cinematic edits, and well-produced character videos can help expand your reach. Where appropriate, paid promotion can increase visibility for quality content and help editors reach wider audiences, although engagement and success aren't guaranteed.

5. Build an identity beyond shipping culture. Let people appreciate your acting, personality, charm, fashion, and individual screen presence. Your audience should have reasons to follow you beyond your pairing with a particular actor.

Look at how certain characters and pairings trend. When Zaria and Billo were trending, both names benefited from the audience's interest. But the bigger goal should be to ensure that the female actor's own name, performance, and character also receive recognition.

And please, don't make close-proximity scenes or looking at someone's lips the centre of your promotional strategy. Focus on storytelling, creativity, suspense, and the strength of your character instead.

Ultimately, whether we're talking about relationships or a career, the principle is similar: know your worth, understand the bigger picture, protect your dignity, and direct your energy towards what you can actually build.

Allah knows best. Put your trust in Him, keep learning, and make decisions with knowledge, discipline, and self-respect.Aur jab aap Allah se vent karte ho, toh woh energy healing ki surat mein wapas aati hai.

If you keep listening to music, music literally makes you crave emotions and keeps you stuck in the past or makes you desperate. I used to be a music listener. 24 hours sunti thi. But music literally makes you crave emotions. So jo present mein situation hoti hai, jo aapki high-value energy aur high frequency hoti hai na, which you attract things with, desperate energy mein koi bhi insaan aapse attract nahi hota. Remember that.

And also, 70-30 look. 30% of the time, you should look at a person, and 70% of the time, you shouldn't keep looking at them, because that can create a chasing dynamic. Not saying you need to ignore them; acknowledge them, but don't keep looking at them. Aur aise bhi, unke baat karte hue aise-aise aapne nazrein kar dena. No. Smile. Be joyful.

But you know, aaj kal ki femininity mein emotional ego-soothing agendas aur certain fitnay literally disrupt relationships. Neuroscience, neuroplasticity, Islam, and psychology. Men have biology, women have biology. Let a man be a man, let a woman be a woman. That's how relationships become stronger. But you need to let a man connect with his biology, with his chasing. The more a man physically and emotionally invests in you, the more he may struggle to let go of you.

Agar sharam aati hai ke main kyun paise maangoon, mere apne paise bhi nahi, but let him. Apna haq samajh ke, emotionally, apni chhoti-chhoti cheezein communicate karo. Jaise koi bhi cheez upar se uthani ho, ya ghar ka trash ho. Agar ek hafta bhi trash udhar hi pada raha hai, you told him, "Yeh aapko karna hai." Ek baar bol ke, then remove the excess. Udhar hi pada rehne do. Woh ek hafta baad, aate-jaate dekh ke, khud sharminda ho kar khud hi kar lega. That's how you train men. And when he does it, appreciate him.

Don't overgive. Aur woh bechara thaka hua hai, toh usko samjho. Aage jaa kar phir aise woh undervalued feel karega. Appreciate him. Aur agar appreciate karne ke liye koi cheez nahi hai, phir bhi koi cheez dhoondo to appreciate him. He will do more. And rules and regulations ka balance hamesha chalta hai. Zanjeeron mein baandho and dar-e-nijaat mein Zariyaab. No matter how obsessed you are in a relationship, the relationship will never last if there's no balance.

Just be joyful, have strong boundaries, soft skills, convincing skills, persuasion skills, and conflict-resolution skills. Soft exterior and a steel mindset. Be respectful and appreciate him in a cute way. Aur apni priorities apne paas rakhna.

Because mera toh yeh hai: communicate your boundaries and your thoughts. Kyun ke pata usko bhi hota hai, pata aapko bhi hota hai. And jab dono ko pata hota hai, toh there's no need to hide from it.

Aur indirect communication aur direct communication mein aise hota hai ke aapne apni important baat beech mein rakhni hai, aur aas-paas idhar-udhar ki baatein—fazool nahi, idhar-udhar ki baatein—karni hain. Ya phir shuru mein positive aur end mein positive, beech mein jo baat hai woh rakh lo. That's how you influence. And the person thinks ke usne yeh baat khud sochi hai, but you actually planted the seed in his mind. These are all skills. You need to learn them. And that's how you get valued.

No matter if you get a green flag, if you don't know how to handle all these skills, if you don't heal your inner-child wounds, if you don't heal your personal insecurities, if you haven't healed your father and childhood wounds and mother wound, you will bring those insecurities into your relationship, and your relationship will suffer. You will do it subconsciously, but you will do it.

I have literally used apps that name my emotions, so I understand myself better now. Go heal your father and mother wounds, because everyone has something to work through. And that's how we choose partners, because of our caretakers, the way we were brought up, and our childhood experiences. We choose partners partly because of that. Do you know that? So you need to go back and heal that.

There is so much to learn from life, and you're just staying stuck, listening to music and making your neurons stronger in those patterns. In breakups, that's how you move on faster: remove anything related to that person, and do it deliberately. Because neuroscience and neuroplasticity matter. The more you talk about something and the more you listen to music associated with someone, the more you reinforce those memories and patterns. Aapki frequency zyada attached hoti hai, aapka nervous system zyada attached ho jata hai.

Stop daydreaming, because you cannot see people as they really are. You become more attached because of your fantasising, projection, and the idea of them rather than the relationship and the actions they were showing. You invest more than you should have and lose yourself.

Aur paanch-chhe logon ka group bana lo jo subah-shaam aapke ghar mein hain, jaise Meera karti hai. That is healthy. Uske ilawa bhi apne go-to friends banao through pottery classes, painting classes, and similar activities.

And sabse pehle, small-talk conversation skills, communication skills, and language skills seekho. English ke liye flow banao. Roz agar ek chapter parhna hai, English mein baat karni hai, TED Talks dekhni hain, aur khud ko record karna hai, toh karo.

Ismein yeh hoga ke jab aap apne aapko record karoge, toh apne facial expressions check kar sakte ho. Kaunsi smile aapko suit karti hai? Maine pehle jaise bataya tha ke Chupke Se Bahar Aajaye wali meri favourite smile thi. Woh wali jaa kar videos mein check karo. Apne aapko mirror mein dekho, woh wale muscles use karo, phir smile aur baat us language aur accent mein karo.

Toh aise kya hoga? Isse teen-chaar cheezein hongi. Aapki English fluency bhi behtar hogi, aapke baat karne ka tareeqa bhi improve hoga. Jaise aapne tone set karni hai, waise baat karo: dheere se, thehrao se, elegance ke saath, aur us expression ke saath.

Phir aise kya hoga ke privately aap woh cheezein waise bhi kar rahe hoge. Toh publicly woh cheezein naturally aayengi. Agar aapne koi cheez naturally adopt kar li hai, aur uski privately practice karte ho, chahe khana khate hue, TV dekhte hue, ya kuch create karte hue, aur main bas smile aur giggle karti hoon us tone mein jo maine set ki hai ke maine is tarah giggle karna hai, toh woh meri habit ban gayi hai. Now I can do it on autopilot publicly as well.

And smiling eases the atmosphere. Aapko communication mein baat karni hai, toh aap serious baat ko bhi fun bana dete ho aur apni baat achhe se convey kar sakte ho.

Right sequence of life.

Ab na, and also, if you're overthinking and can't sleep, do the four-four-four method of deep breathing. Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, then exhale for four seconds. Do it repeatedly, aur aap us loop se, overthinking se nikal sakte ho. Stress ko manage karne mein bhi help mil sakti hai. Then say, "Assalam, Alhamdulillah," and you may feel calmer and fall asleep.

So record yourself a lot. Do it privately more. Allah Ta'ala mein tawakkul rakho.

Isliye apni energy sahi jagah lagao, because literally, whatever we consume and whatever we give energy to influences who we become. Hum jis cheez ko baar-baar attention dete hain, uski patterns ko reinforce karte hain

So shaitan aur fitnay ne humein hamare...Isliye toh shaitan ke fitnay ne humein apne human potential ko reach nahi karne diya, aur wrong type of relationships mein phansa diya. No matter what, we all have biology. We need to do things according to that. This world has become over-emotional. Oh, don't wear these clothes. But no, when we wear objectifying clothes, they can have certain effects on the brain. We can't run away from our biology and how we are made because of emotional talks. Because in the name of independence, it is presented that way and associated with it.

Literally, ab Shadi Zara ko hi dekh lo. If you want to follow her, follow her. She is the best self-doubt coach. She always dresses modestly, and she has always said one thing: be practical, because people notice these things. The fact that a woman can be so competent, yet people discuss how she dresses more than how competent she is, proves that we cannot run away from preconceived notions and how we are made. Aur agar hum apni biology se aise bhaagenge, toh society mein fitna aur fasaad hoga.

Islam teaches you to understand your emotions, but Islam is also rational. Objectively dekho. That's why, even according to neuroscience and neuroplasticity, understand your emotions, let them out, go to Allah. But then direct your emotions. And how do you do that? You have reasoning skills, logic skills, rationality, objectivity, consistency, and willpower.

And when it comes to dopamine, the fact that there are so many internet celebrities and so much pleasure available through porn, scrolling, and everything else, it can reduce your attention span. Our human brain isn't designed to handle constant stimulation at this level. It's like a sugar spike: our body naturally releases chemicals to bring our blood sugar down, and then our body can feel worse. Same with dopamine. Our brain isn't used to such constant high stimulation, but we use our mobiles so much, scroll so much, and engage in high-pleasure activities like dramas and music. When we repeatedly overstimulate ourselves, it can affect our mood, motivation, and attention, and contribute to anxiety and low mood.

Aur jab har kisi ke paas, mashallah, itni saari cheezein hain jo doosron ke dreams hain, jo unke paas hain unke liye grateful hona chahiye, phir bhi woh ghamgeen hain. Because we're already consuming so much stimulation through the internet.

Ek kissa hai ke Allah Ta'ala ne kaha tha ke har kisi ke paas jao. Toh jo banda bura tha, usne kaha, "Mere paas toh kuch nahi hai. Main kis cheez ka shukar karoon?" Allah Ta'ala ne kaha ke tu ab aise hi rahega. Aur jis ke paas sab kuch tha, woh baar-baar shukriya ada kar raha tha ke meri kya aukaat, mere paas toh sab kuch hai. Allah Ta'ala ne usko mazeed diya. Gratefulness gives you more.

The fact that you're living your life means you can enjoy it. Marriage is a responsibility. Jab aap yeh saari skills grow kar loge, tab aap apne relationship mein flourish karoge, aur aapki value bhi zyada hogi. The richer your inner world and the higher you set your standards, the better things you can build for yourself.

And balance and detachment matter. Jis cheez ko aap, ya kisi partner ko, ya kisi situation ko apne centre of the universe bana loge, the more attached you become, the more your life gets affected by it. It's even discussed as a law of the universe. The more you cling to something, the more you risk losing your peace over it.

And Islam mein bhi Allah Ta'ala ki taraf rujoo karna sikhaya gaya hai. Allah Ta'ala ko apna centre banao. Agar aapne kisi se hans kar bhi baat ki hai, toh Allah Ta'ala ke bande ke liye ki hai. Iska sila main Allah Ta'ala se maangungi, logon se nahi. Toh aapki intention aur mindset shift ho jaata hai. Aap Allah se expect karte ho, logon se nahi. That way, your relationships can become stronger because there's less obsession and you're not making one person the centre of your universe.

Pehle Allah Ta'ala, phir apni growth. Apne andar growth laani hai. Uske baad everything should be a part of your life, whether it's a job, relationships, or anything else.

Job mein bhi aise hi hota hai. Aap rationally aur objectively dekhte ho. Khwaamkha ki badtameezi aur unprofessionalism ko tolerate karna, jaise Daniyal ne kiya, sirf apne project ko promote karne ke liye, jab sab aisa kar rahe hon, makes you feel desperate. Aur usko superiority complex dena ke, "Oh my God, aaj Daniyal ne post kar di!" Because he never did that consistently. The fact that he gave such bare minimum support compared to how he posted with his friends made one post seem like a huge deal, almost like Cristiano Ronaldo posting something about Sarbuland. And the fact that you did a photoshoot with him, too. And what was that? "This was so special for me."

The person who pushes you away, disrespects you, and is emotionally unavailable becomes special to you. Girl, have self-loyalty. That's called self-abandonment. This is not professionalism or generosity.

Aapko pata hota hai ke aapki emotional state theek nahi hai, toh us saal projects mat karo, us month projects mat karo. That's self-loyalty. Close-proximity scenes nahi karne, because this is about your dignity. In many ways, shipping culture benefits the male actors more. Ladkiyon ki history is baat ki gawah hai.

Sarbuland har jagah tha, lekin abhi tak Sarbuland ke character ke baare mein kisi ne baat ki? No dialogue, no meaningful individual arc, just used as a tool for romantic dialogue. Instagram par bhi aapke likes itne zyada high nahi hue. So, in that sense, social media is power. Apne charms enhance karo.

BTS ne bhi realise kar liya, Jiya Shankar ne bhi realise kar liya. But no matter how much talent you have, agar aapke expressions, skills, soft exterior, feminine and goofy personality, social media presence, expression, marketing, aur positive PR nahi hai, toh you may not become as big as you could. Social media is one of the biggest things today.

And preconceived notions matter a lot. Agar ek insaan ke baare mein bohot se log negative baatein kar rahe hon, toh ek waqt aata hai jab aap bhi influence ho jaate ho. Even I have experienced this. This is how the human brain works.

That's why positive PR helps. Comment section mein agar kisi insaan ki bees hazaar log tareef kar rahe hon, toh log usko important samajhne lagte hain, hatta ke unka apna judgement bhi influence ho sakta hai. Same with negativity.

Sab fandoms ne kya kiya? "Sarjan ke fans, Sarjan ke fans." Aur phir fandoms mein trolling accounts bhi hote hain. Toh ab maine detect kiya ke ek random banda aaya aur usne kaha, "Sarjan ke fans." I said, "Prove it." Toh uske paas koi evidence nahi tha.

Maine shippers aur neutral fans ke beech ka difference samjha. Shippers apni fantasies project karte hain. Solo fans alag hote hain. Shipper fandoms kisi ke bhi nahi hote. Yeh baat hamesha yaad rakhna. Apna solo fandom build karna chahiye.

Positive PR karwao. Aapke fans se zyada negativity aapke around ho, toh usko address karna chahiye. Aur agar aap kehte ho, "Mujhe koi farq nahi padta," that is emotional talking, not necessarily rational or objective thinking. Baat ko situation ke hisaab se samajhna aur usi hisaab se respond karna seekho.

Learn expressions. Acting mein expressions aur reactions are everything. They can diffuse a situation or create one.

Bohot se logon ka example hai. Meri niece hai, uska ek andaaz bohot soft hai. She prioritises herself. She has boundaries, but she is also a people person. Woh bohot softly aur coyly baat karti hai, smile karke baat karti hai, aur aap sochte ho, "Main is par gussa kaise karoon?" Wahi bachcha agar koi harkat karta hai, toh us par bohot gussa aata hai, lekin uske maamle mein aapka andaaz dheema ho jaata hai.

It's not that she overgives or does too much. She prioritises self-love as well. But this is called balance and detachment.

Apni social gatherings rakho, social circle build karo, lekin kisi ko apne centre of the universe mat banao. Friends hone ke bawajood, three or four different groups rakho. Apne yoga friends alag banao, apne hobbies ke friends alag banao, taake kisi ek insaan ko apni zindagi ka main wajood na bana do.

Your centre of the universe should be Allah, and your growth should be a priority. Jab right partner aayega, toh aapke paas relationship handle karne aur apni value maintain karne ki skills hongi. Toh usse pehle pareshaan hone ki zaroorat nahi hai.

Surah Waqiah parho. Surah Waqiah partner ke liye best hai. Aur phir jab woh partner aaye, toh usko observe karo, uske patterns dekho, daydream mat karo, music mat suno jo aapko fantasies mein le jaaye.

And of course, you need a sense of safety and protection, and that can also come from your mehram mard. Apne bhai aur apne Abbu ke saath close ho, unko cuddles do, unko good morning kaho, unke saath shopping karo, unke liye cheezein bhejo. That's how aap aahista-aahista unke saath apna bond create karoge.And of course, we need safety as well. Jab hum women ko apne ghar ke mardon se safety aur protection freely milti hai, toh hum woh desperation aur loneliness partner mein nahi dhoondte. We choose the right person because we observe them.

And of course, right habits bhi zaroori hain. Daydreaming nahi karni, aur music se bhi door rehna hai jo aapko fantasies mein stuck rakhe. In cheezon se door raho, aapki life sorted ho jayegi.

An over-emotional state makes your life miserable. I used to be an over-emotional person. Now I don't entertain this. I am not over-emotional anymore. Main khud se self-loyal hoon aur samajhti hoon ke over-emotional hone ki wajah se main apni life theek se nahi jee paa rahi thi.

So, with these habits, and of course, we need that feeling as well, because Islam and neuroscience teach us to understand our feelings. Acknowledge what you want, lekin uske liye sahi tareeqa apnao. Ghalat tareeqe par mat jao. Shaitan yahi karta hai: ego-soothing statements ke zariye hamare genuine emotions ko ghalat direction mein le jaata hai. Apni feelings ko sahi direction mein le jao.

Islam tells you to acknowledge your feelings and vent that energy in the right direction. Everything is energy. Agar aap logon ke paas vent karoge, toh agar aapki intention healing ki hai, zaroori nahi ke aapko unse healing mil hi jaaye. Jab aap apni emotions aur energy doosron ke saamne baar-baar vent karte ho, toh baad mein emptiness feel ho sakti hai. Aap khud us topic se overattached ho jaate ho, uske baare mein zyada baat karte ho, aur aapke neurons us memory, situation aur us insaan se related patterns ko aur reinforce karte hain. The cycle keeps repeating.

The same energy ko agar aap Allah Ta'ala ki taraf direct karo, toh aapko sukoon mil sakta hai. Neuroscience mein bhi yeh samajhne ki koshish ki jaati hai ke jab hum pareshani mein hote hain aur Allah Ta'ala ko pukarte hain, God ko call karte hain, toh yeh insaan ki spiritual aur emotional needs se connected hota hai. Toh apni energy Allah ke paas le kar jao. Dua karo, namaz parho, ro, apne emotions nikaalo. It's healthy to acknowledge your emotions.

Then, after crying, journal karo aur rationally, objectively apne patterns ko dekho. Aur Surah Waqiah parho. Partner ke liye bhi Allah Ta'ala se dua karo ke woh aapki zindagi mein right partner laaye. Lekin iska matlab yeh nahi ke Surah Waqiah parhne se zindagi ke saare risks khatam ho jaayenge. Trust Allah Ta'ala, make dua, and take the right steps.

Of course, these things require skills and the right sequence, jaise maine pehle bataya: Allah, then your growth, and then everything else should be a part of life. Aap rationally aur objectively saari cheezon ko dekh kar faisla karte ho, emotions mein beh kar nahi.

Emotions are indicators. You also need logic, reasoning, decision-making skills, and interpersonal skills.

Women should take care of their biology, periods, hormones, responsibilities, pregnancy, and children. In sab cheezon ko dekh kar partner select karna chahiye, because your choice of partner can shape your life in significant ways. You should feel safe with that person.

Love is a raw ingredient. Respect, loyalty, caring, supporting, friendship, understanding, and mutual respect are what make a relationship stronger. Both partners' nervous systems should feel safe around each other. Woh insaan aapke liye thandak aur sukoon ka zariya bane. That is what a partnership should look like.

Even criminals can give you butterflies. Playboys are masters at giving you butterflies. Toh agar aap un players ke peeche jaate ho jinke saath abhi recently drama hua hai, toh phir aapko apni choices aur standards par reflect karna chahiye. Apne inner world par kaam karo.

You can see how much you love yourself by the partner you choose. It's not about whether that partner is a good person in general. It's also about how that partner treats you and whether you continue accepting that treatment.

I am not saying that when you're with someone, especially at the beginning of a relationship, you should overinvest, daydream, project fantasies onto them, or invest quickly just because you're lonely and they're giving you attention. Attention is not equal to intention. You can understand the difference if you read, gain knowledge, and learn to recognise patterns.

In this era of education and knowledge, you can verify things through neuroscience, psychology, and Islamic teachings. Islam sets the bar high. Aap khud knowledge gain na karo aur phir baar-baar baith kar yeh kehte raho ke log mujhe use karke chale jaate hain, ya har mard aisa hi hota hai. It's also important to reflect on what you need to learn. I can even detect my own patterns and identify what I did wrong. I can detect my mother's patterns, too.

Don't trust anyone blindly. Be rational and objective. You can see things more clearly and become better at reading people when you don't let your biases control your judgement.

Music ko apni zindagi mein secondary kar do. And especially if you're moving on from a breakup, stop staying stuck in things associated with that person. Waise bhi, kya faida hua? Films, movies, and songs have made people obsess over romance and keep it at the centre of their universe. They've even made toxic love look like real love. No.

Agar aap do saal pehle bhi waise hi the aur aaj bhi wahi galtiyan repeat kar rahe ho, toh it's a major minus point. Allah Ta'ala ne humein seekhne aur apni habits badalne ki ability di hai.

Whatever we consume, we become. Social media is also a company. Control what you watch, and you influence who you become.

Mera algorithm bhi aisa hai ke main khud search karti hoon. Main khwaamkha tap karte hue idhar-udhar scroll nahi karti. My algorithm is full of expressions, the expressions I want to adopt: elegance, knowledge, joyfulness, boundaries, gaining knowledge, reading patterns, psychology, neuroscience, Islam, fun, and charming expressions.

The same applies to the brain. I don't know who said it, whether it was a brain expert or psychologist, but the quote goes something like this: "Control your mind, or your mind will control you." It can drive you crazy. Think about your thoughts. You can literally learn to observe and redirect your thoughts.

Aur woh kaise hota hai? Ismein yeh bhi matter karta hai ke aap kya consume kar rahe ho. Apne goals ko chunks mein divide karo. Self-control aise build hota hai ke aap do ghante ke liye decide karte ho ke maine yeh nahi dekhna. Uske ilawa poetry classes lo, doosri hobbies mein jao, ya kisi aur cheez mein engage ho jao. Phir four hours, phir six hours. Aahista-aahista discipline build karo.

Aap dheere-dheere detachment develop karoge. Phir intention ke saath socho: agar main yeh cheez dekhungi, toh chances hain ke mera poora din barbaad ho jaayega, mujhe anxiety ho sakti hai, aur main phir usi loop mein chali jaaungi. Lekin agar main apni curiosity ko control kar loon, toh main apne aapko us larger sadness, anxiety aur distress se bacha sakti hoon.

What would a sensible person do? Apni curiosity ko kahega, "Maine yeh nahi dekhna." Aahista-aahista apne aapko discipline karna padta hai. This is called self-loyalty.

And the right sequence of life is Allah first, then your growth, learning all these skills, and then your job, partner selection, family, and everything else as part of your life.

Aur dua karo ke aapka partner aapke liye sukoon aur thandak ka zariya bane. Is tarah aapke relationships, job, aur har cheez mein flourish karne ke chances barhte hain, kyunki aap kisi bhi cheez ko lekar obsessed ya desperate nahi hote. Aapka nazariya balanced rehta hai.

The fact is, dono obsessed the, phir bhi relationship flourish kar gaya. Obsession can kill the balance of a relationship. Har cheez mein balance hona chahiye.

So of course, we need safety and a protective feeling. Toh apni Ammi, bhai aur Abbu ke close ho. Unko hugs karo, unke saath shopping par jao, aur unke liye cheezein laao. Aur yaad rakho, grocery shopping khud bhi karo.

Isse aapke social muscles build honge aur logon ke judgement ka fear kam hoga. Aapko pata chalega ke bargaining kaise karni hai, apni pasand ki cheez kaise leni hai, aur apne decisions kaise lene hain. Is tarah aapko yeh soch kar anxiety nahi hogi ke doosre log aapke baare mein kya soch rahe hain ya kya karenge.

Aise aapki muscle memory develop hoti hai aur logon ke judgement ka fear dheere-dheere kam hota hai. Jo insaan apni zaat par conviction rakhta hai, woh jahan jaata hai, confidence ke saath jaata hai. Yeh uski personality mein nazar aata hai because that confidence develops through practice.

No nonsense. Shopping karo, logon se baat karo, social gatherings mein jao, aur apna circle banao. Friends ke bhi chaar-paanch groups bana lo. Kuch aise log hon jo rozmarra ki zindagi mein aapke saath hon. Baaki gym friends, yoga friends, aur hobby friends alag banao.

I have literally used apps that identify my emotions. Jitna aap apne aapko behtar jaanoge, utna zyada aapke liye zindagi ko manage karna aur successful banna aasaan hoga.

Anxiety solutions ke liye main apni apps send karungi. Overthinking ke liye 4-4-4 deep-breathing exercise, journaling, dua, and I play the Yahtzee game. I also use apps for naming my feelings. Is tarah aap apne emotions ko behtar samajh paate ho.

And apne aapko grow karo. Jab right partner or situation aayega, aap. Value or manage krny ki skills hogi ,thats why i always say k susral or logo or partner ko handle krme ki skulls ,tactics ni ayegi i will not get married. .i love growing or abhi single life men full azadi or u can take trips and adventure make social group. Single life phase ko enjoy karo ,shadi sirf respinsibility or thora maza hai ,apka partner apka healing coach ni hy. Just select a partner k when u are growing ,healing he will become supportive ? Apki body ko amswer pata hota hai ,marriage is partnership. Nibbi nibbi obsessive romance ni. Love is raw ingredient ,balance support ,care ,respect loyalty ,conflict resolution ,,skills ,and apny man ko train krna ,let him be a man and u being channeling in your feminine energy ,soft exterior ,expresion ,adorable expresseion and reaction ,steel mindset rational objective boundaries ,sorted ,calm regulated netvous ststem ,facial control ,narrative control,& many jo mene bola hai, this is only right dynamic &only succesful dynamic .and happy life. And preconceived notions. You've done a project, and after that, go on your trip and stay away from social media. Na right praise, na wrong praise. Aapko pata hona chahiye ke apni validation aapko khud karni hai. Aapko na praise ki aadat parni chahiye, na criticism ki. Lekin haan, positive PR karwana zaroori hai.

Preconceived notions matter a lot. It is everything, because most people get influenced by the majority. Now you have more haters than fans, and no matter how talented you are, people need fun, entertainment, aesthetics and goofiness. That only comes from social media. Social media is the biggest platform.

Ji haan, Shankar ne apni integrity aur dignity compromise nahi ki. Usne kissing scenes nahi kiye. Use kaam nahi mila, so look, usne apna platform banaya. Usne Instagram ko TV ki tarah use kiya. Now, uske ads bohat se celebrities aur actors se zyada hain. Usne apne charms add kiye.

BTS's Taehyung is literally known for this: jab bhi use koi achhe charms ya skills seekhne ko milte hain, woh unhein apne andar adopt kar leta hai. BTS understands marketing. No matter how talented we are, marketing is necessary. Toh positive PR karwao aur bas chale jao.

Preconceived notions matter a lot. Of course, you need to understand that in every area of life, you have to be practical. Emotional needs ko side par rakh kar samjho ke har cheez ki apni requirements aur zarooriyaat hoti hain, aur aapko usi hisaab se chalna hai. Narrative control matters.

The fact is, Maya Khan ne jaise hi Ana Khan ki tareef hoti dekhi, jaldi se uski tareef kar di. That sets the tone of the conversation. Logon ko laga ke Maya Khan ne bhi tareef kar di, is liye shadow wali baat saamne nahi aayi.

The fact is, you don't appreciate anyone or interact with anyone. Aap peechhe se kitne bhi achhe hon, it doesn't matter. Networking is important for Insta friends. Sabke paas jaa kar unki tareef karna aur unse interact karna. Phir unke fandoms wale bhi aapke saath achhe hote hain, warna unhein lagta hai ke yeh toh sabse ghatiya hai. Unke jealousy aur competition wale emotions bhi saamne aate hain, aur woh zyada evolve hote hain.

It's not about catering to them. It's about understanding people's skills. It is a data-and-detach mindset. Agar aap kisi ke saath kuch karte ho, toh yeh mat socho ke aapne uske saath aisa kiya, is liye woh bhi aage se waisa hi jawab dega. Aapne apna kar diya, ab observe karo ke usne kya kiya. Just analyze rationally and objectively, without tolerating bullshit.

And the same goes for professionalism. It's not about using professionalism as an excuse to make your job the center of the universe. Again, jis cheez ke liye aap zyada desperate hote ho aur use center of the universe bana lete ho, usmein aapko sukoon nahi milta.

Yeh law of the universe mein bhi hai aur Islam mein bhi: aapka sequence of life sahi hona chahiye, jise maine bhi theek kiya. Jo log zindagi mein kaamyab hote hain, unka sequence of life yeh hota hai: Allah first, then yourself and your growth, then learning side skills, then your job, partner, relationship, family, home and everything else. Yeh sab aapki zindagi ka hissa hain. Allah se dua karo ke yeh sab aapki aankhon ki thandak banein. But iske liye sabse pehle Allah ko center of the universe banana padega. Phir cheezein khud hi theek hone lagengi.

And then, focus on your growth. Aapki value tab barhti hai jab aapki inner world richer hoti hai. Koi insaan sirf apni khoobsurti ya talent ki wajah se zyada valuable nahi hota. They gain value through the inner work they do, how much they grow, and how much they work on themselves. Unka standard bhi ooncha hota jaata hai, unki frequency bhi barhti jaati hai, and they become more emotionally stable.

Jitna aap apne saath self-loyal rehte ho, self-love aur discipline rakhte ho, utna behtar hota hai. Emotions are just indicators. Aapko rational reasoning skills, objectivity aur logic ke saath decisions lene hote hain, is sequence of life ko follow karte hue: Allah first, then yourself, then your growth, and then all other areas of life.

Is sequence ke saath aap jo bhi faisla loge, uske sahi hone ki possibility zyada hogi. Aur agar woh sahi nahi bhi hua, toh you will most probably not lose yourself. Sabse ghalat tareeqa khud ko kho dena hai, kyun ke aap apni value aur dignity ko kisi doosre insaan ke behaviour se jor dete ho.

Like the way Daniyal Dani was constantly being disrespectful to you. He wasn't openly being professional, but you still kept promoting the project. Jitna woh kar raha tha, utna hi aap karti. Observe karti ke kaun se ads share karne hain. And the fact that you still did a photoshoot with him—shabash! That's called self-abandonment.

Aur usse bhi barh kar, uske saath kaam karne ki itni over-excitement! Your stories literally revealed your emotional state and how excited you were. And then saying, or trying to make him jealous, or saying that this is very close to your heart—girl, control your emotions. Yeh sab aapki low self-esteem aur low self-worth dikhata hai.

Jo insaan aapko jitna zyada push karta hai, emotionally unavailable hota hai aur respect nahi deta, aap utna hi uske paas jaati ho. Literally, it's your pattern. It's unhealthy. That is not called self-love.

And understand one thing: if you have become obsessed with someone, be it anyone, toh samajh jao ke aap us insaan ke saath apni confusion clear karne ki koshish kar rahe ho. This is not your person. If you're obsessing over them, it's often because they've created confusion in your mind.

And when you know someone loves you, you know it till your bones. Lekin jab koi confusion create karta hai, toh hamara mind clarity chahta hai. Our minds like clarity, so we keep thinking about that person again and again to close the loop. Lekin hum ulta usi insaan se attach hote jaate hain, uske baare mein dekhte rehte hain aur use search karte rehte hain.

Hamara sensory input us insaan se overload ho jaata hai. Daydreaming, music aur apni fantasies ko relationship par project karna—rather than focusing on what the person is actually saying—makes it worse. Daydreaming and music literally create an imaginary, fantasized version of the relationship and blindside you.

Toh jab tak humein confusion rehti hai, hum us loop ko close karne ki koshish mein obsess karte rehte hain. So if a man is confusing you, understand that he is not your person.

Consistency tells you if a man is into you. Consistency and taking things slowly matter. Love bombers, playboys and men who constantly give you butterflies through love bombing and lust can be performative. Attention is not intention. You can understand intention by observing how slowly, peacefully and consistently someone behaves. Agar woh aapko constantly confuse kar raha hai—not just once or twice—then pay attention to that pattern.

And of course, you need to communicate clearly that you're not looking for casual dating; you want a serious relationship. Toh jo serious nahi honge, woh khud hi filter out ho jaayenge. Aur agar koi phir bhi game khelne ki koshish kare, then just observe him.

Never tell a man exactly what you want in a partner, because shuru mein woh usi hisaab se performative ho sakta hai. Larkon ko shuru mein yeh saari cheezein nahi batani chahiye. Just observe him. Someone who genuinely wants to know you for who you are will make an effort to get to know you. Apni saari baatein aur details bhi shuru mein hi batane ki zaroorat nahi hai. Bas observe karo ke woh aapko jaanne ki kitni koshish karta hai. That's how you understand whether someone is genuinely interested in you or not.

And even after that, see whether you align or not. Agar aapki values aur uski values align nahi kartin, respectfully move on. Goodbye.

The amount of mistakes you repeat can literally wreck your relationships. You attract into your life the partner you choose, so don't keep repeating the same mistakes when you already know the patterns. Jab aapko pata tha ke uske parents convinced nahi thay, why did you invest more? Past mein bhi toh yahi hua tha.

If he was confusing you, and the relationship was obsessive and jealousy-driven, then you should have communicated clearly, kyun ke aapko bhi pata hota hai ke is baat...Pata aapko bhi hota hai, pata usko bhi hota hai. Jab dono ko hi pata hai, toh phir communicate kyun nahi karna, with soft skills?

And also, obsession with jealousy. Agar aapki fight hui hai, breakup ho raha hai, ya jo bhi situation hai, and you're trying to make another man jealous, toh isse aapko koi faida nahi hota. Aap apne relationships complicate karte ho, obsession create karte ho, and apni value down karte ho.

Ye charm exclusive nahi hai; har kisi ke saath iska same attitude hota hai. The way you were looking at Zindagi during the confession scene, at his lips, was very cheap. Soft PR nahi, natural charm matter karta hai.

I used to look at people's faces and scan them a lot. Then I realized that it attracts unwanted attention. And lusty attention is not good for you. First, aap khamakha ghar jaake sochte rehte ho, "Usne mujhe dekha, usne mujhe waise dekha." It doesn't mean anything. I want stability in life, not unnecessary situationships.

Second, aapko us environment mein un logon ke saath communicate karna hota hai. Khamakha situationships kyun create karni hain? Iqra Kanwal literally has friends who feel like sisters, creating a comfortable environment.

And when you use lusty expressions, understand that adorable energy dil ke andar sarayat karti hai. But lusty energy sirf lust tak rehti hai. Understand that. Adorableness, cute expressions and charm are actually some of the biggest forms of flirting. Aap innocent bhi lagte ho aur genuinely kisi ke dil mein gehraai tak jagah bhi bana sakte ho. Lust is just that feeling jo sau logon ke saath bhi ho sakti hai.

And the fact is, it's more harmful for you because men can become performative when they notice lusty expressions, and you can't easily identify what that person is actually like. Aap apni life complicate kar dete ho. Is a man genuinely into me, or is it just love bombing and performative behaviour? Khamakha apni life complicate karte ho, time waste karte ho aur emotions invest kar dete ho.

Of course, you have tools and knowledge, and eventually you might realize that it's all performative. Lekin uska pata chalne mein bhi kaafi time lag sakta hai. So why waste your time, and why give those signals in the first place?

I used to do that too, but maine apna pattern realize kiya. Because I rationally and objectively observe myself, I can understand my patterns as well.

And if you're lonely, go out, hang around and develop hobbies. Hobby friends alag hone chahiye, aur woh group of friends alag hona chahiye jo ghar aate jaate hain. Don't make any one thing the centre of your universe.

And preconceived notions matter a lot. Apni self-validation, discipline, skincare aur sugar intake par focus karo. Alia Bhatt is literally so dedicated. Apni job par bhi focus karo, lekin mujhe nahi lagta ke aapko usmein itni praise milti hai, na aapko khud satisfaction milta hai, na sukoon.

I've seen people who prioritize everything according to the right sequence of life. Ab dekho, talent hone ke bawajood bhi, you're not that popular. Social media is the biggest power, as I've already told you. Aapke charming expressions hone chahiye, positive PR honi chahiye, and talent comes third. Sabke saath khushi aur ikhlaaq se milo.

Lekin jab koi aapke saath unprofessional ya badtameezi se behave kare, jaise Daniel, never work with them again. Bilal Abbas literally said he would never work with that team. Mera team matter bohat karta hai. Bhale hi uske liye achha project aa raha ho, lekin uske liye apni emotional stability bhi matter karti hai.

Isi tarah aapka aura build hota hai, because you're constantly making choices that reflect self-loyalty.

Apne manager ko bolo ke suspense aur thriller wale projects choose karein, kyunki woh aksar hit jaate hain. Then positive PR karwao, aur sabse important, aapka role aur dialogues central hone chahiye.

Shipping mein aksar ladkon ko faida hota hai, aur unki popularity bhi barhti hai. Aapki dignity lose hoti hai. Ye history gawah hai: Pakistan, India, K-pop, Japan, J-pop, har jagah looks aur character se zyada looks trend karte hain. Apne role ko zyada trend karwao. Aapke important dialogues, character development, emotions aur journey prominent hone chahiye.

And what I was saying is, apni safety aur protective feeling ke liye apne papa, bhai aur family ke saath close raho. Of course, initially they might pull back, aur unke liye ye sab thoda cold ya unfamiliar ho sakta hai. Isko apne ego par mat lo. Har cheez ego ya self-respect ka issue nahi hoti. I'm not saying ke badtameezi bardasht karo, but understand that this might be new for them.

Cuddle them, hug them, aur unke liye cheezein bana kar le jao. Bhai aur family ke saath jo relationship hota hai, woh partner ke saath relationship se different hota hai. Dono ke liye alag approach hoti hai.

Connect with your family, especially your brother and father. That gives you emotional safety and a protective feeling. Phir aap bahar jaakar ladkon ke liye desperate nahi hote.

Of course, women want that energy too. Lekin jab humein woh emotional safety ghar se nahi milti aur hum apne father aur brothers ke saath close nahi hote, toh hum bahar usko chase karne lagte hain. Bahar chase karne se pehle samjho ke hamari ye emotional needs bhi hain. Lekin unhein fulfill karne ke liye galat raasta choose nahi karna.

Understand ke haan, hamari ye needs hain, aur unhein sahi jagah direct karna hai. Ye tab hota hai jab aap rational aur objective hote ho. Apne emotions ko indicators aur senses ki tarah lo. Unhein acknowledge karo, phir rationally aur objectively decide karo ke kya karna hai.

Emotions aur heart ko ek child ki tarah treat karo, aur brain ko teacher ki tarah. Emotions ko samjho, lekin decisions rationally lo.

Agar aapko rona aa raha hai, emotional heaviness hai, ya energy release karni hai, toh Allah se dua maango. Allah se dua maango, Allah se dua maango. Journaling, breathing exercises, somatic exercises, body tapping, nervous system reset exercises, lymphatic drainage, physical exercise aur warm-water baths try karo. Ye cheezein aapko healing mein help kar sakti hain.

Apni emotional heaviness ko release karne ke liye ro lo, aur Allah ke saamne apna dil khol do. Logon ke saamne baar-baar apni emotional struggles share karne se kabhi kabhi aap us situation, person ya job se aur attached ho jaate ho. Phir aapke thoughts aur neurons usi cheez ke around aur reinforce hote rehte hain.

Apni energy Allah ke saamne release karo aur usse dua maango. Allah ki taraf rujoo karo, aur apne emotions ko us connection ke through process karo.

Of course, you have social needs as well. Go out, solo travel karo, apni grocery shopping khud karo. Isse aapke andar conviction aayegi. Studies continue karo, kisi achhi university mein diploma ke liye chale jao.

Aapne dekha hoga ke kuch logon mein naturally ek conviction hoti hai. Jin logon ne achhi education hasil ki hoti hai, unke aura mein bhi woh confidence aur conviction nazar aati hai. Unki presence strong lagti hai.

I am a student of psychology as well. Mere saamne koi banda apni opinion lekar aaye, toh mujhe pata hota hai ke mera apna perspective hai, based on neuroscience and logic. Agar aapki opinion neuroscience, logic aur Islam ke perspective se supported hai, I can consider it. I can grow from it. I can learn from it. Lekin uske ilawa, main apni reasoning par stand karungi.

Mujhe apni aur Allah ki validation kaafi hai. Even apni family mein bhi main aisi hi hoon. Bhale saamne koi bhi ho, that conviction comes through, aur aapke aura mein woh thehraav nazar aata hai.

Aap apne aapko strong sense of aura aur presence ke saath carry karte ho. Mujhe aise logon ka charisma pasand hai.Of course, you need to have soft skills. For example, I have conviction in my opinions. Mujhe pata hai ke mujhe styling tips aati hain, mujhe pata hai ke mujh par kya achha lagta hai. I know which hairstyle will technically make your face look wider and which one will make it look longer. I know which hairstyles create that effect.

It's not that I'm emotionally deciding based on what I see in the mirror and thinking, "Oh my God, I look so good." No. I'm talking about rationally and objectively understanding things through knowledge. Isliye mujhe pata hai. Of course, agar koi mujhe right knowledge ke saath apni opinion aur conviction dega, I will listen to it.

Isliye kehte hain ke apna knowledge gain karte jao. Aapki presence aur aura mein woh baat nazar aati hai.

And the fact is, Khakaan doosron ke saamne apni presence establish karne ki itni koshish karta hai because usko nazar aata hai ke people are seeking his validation and feel threatened by his confidence. It can also reflect low self-esteem and insecurity.

And Parishay, the fact that she was putting forward her opinion, she was soft and social, but apni opinion bhi rakh rahi thi. Kahin se bhi aisa hint nahi tha ke she was seeking his approval. Toh khud-ba-khud he started acting shallow and trying to establish equality where he wasn't being challenged. Phir woh upar se dominate aur control karne laga. Of course, uski insecurity saamne aa gayi, and he didn't even let me speak. But Parishay handled it with a smile. Of course, main baat kar rahi thi, lekin usko approval ki zaroorat nahi thi.

So when you gain knowledge, study more and earn diplomas, that conviction starts showing in your presence and aura. Aapki personality mein woh strength nazar aati hai. You can be social, have soft skills and interpersonal skills, but still have conviction in yourself. Relationships mein aisa balance hona chahiye.

With your partner, agar aapke paas ye saari skills hon, toh aap apni baat bhi effectively samjha sakte ho. Jo insaan apne aapko constantly improve karta rehta hai, aur dekhta hai ke koi insaan kisi achhi quality ko adopt karke zindagi mein successful ho raha hai, toh woh bhi us quality ko apne andar adopt kar leta hai. Aise log grow karte rehte hain.

And with all these skills, relationship mein aapko apne partner ke emotions ka khayal rakhna hai, usko appreciate karna hai, let him be a man, and learn a lot from Iqra. Woh apne mard wale kaam khud karta hai, aur Iqra apni feminine side mein rehti hai. Woh kehti hai, "Mujhse toh nahi hua na," bhale ek hafta guzar jaye aur uska karne ka mood na ho.

Don't nag a man. Of course, apni boundaries aur standards maintain karo. Aisa bhi nahi ke bilkul loose ho jao, but appreciate him. Nagging and disrespect are the biggest turn-offs. Usko respect do, appreciate karo, joyful raho, and have boundaries.

Boundaries are a must. Aisa bhi nahi hona chahiye ke aap over-give kar rahe ho, aur aisa bhi nahi ke you're not invested in the relationship.

The fact is, Iqra said ke unki bohat zyada laraiyan hoti hain, lekin unki laraiyon mein ye hota hai ke unhein pata hota hai, "Achha, ye iska emotional indicator hai aur woh uska." Woh ek doosre ko understand karte hain, taake aage se woh cheez repeat na ho. They know each other that way.

Jab aapka conflict ho, toh pehle ye samjho ke hamare liye larai se zyada hamara rishta important hai. Of course, larai ho rahi hai toh hone do, lekin samjho ke theek hai, aapko ye cheez achhi nahi lagi, toh aage se main khayal rakhungi. Aage se aap bhi khayal rakhna. Aise relationship mein dono ki zindagi mein sukoon rehta hai.

And the fact is, agar aap job karne ke bawajood, itni mehnat karne ke baad bhi zindagi mein sukoon aur khushi nahi paa rahe, toh kya faida hua? Job se pehle bhi relationships matter karte hain. Happiness research shows that happiness isn't just about being wealthy or successful; people with fulfilling relationships tend to be happier too.

Of course, aapko apni job bhi maintain karni hai. Iqra se seekho ke apne partner ko appreciate karo aur respect do. Jab aapke paas ye skills hongi aur aap khud ko better banate rahoge, toh aapko apni value karna bhi aayega.

Isliye main kehti hoon ke apne aapko better se better banao, improve karo. Jab right insaan aayega, toh aapke paas skills hongi aur aapko apni value maintain karna aayega.

And then, of course, have boundaries. He should know ke aapki apni life hai, aapki apni identity hai aur aapki apni priorities hain. Jo cheezein aap apne liye important rakhti ho, unka bhi aap khayal rakhogi.

Jaise Iqra apni vlogging mein karti hai, she doesn't directly say, "Ye hamare ghar ka channel hai" or "I'm the best vlogger." Woh directly aisa nahi kehti jab koi aur usmein participate karne ki koshish karta hai. Lekin agle din, do din baad, ya usi vlog mein 5, 10 ya 15 minutes baad, baaton baaton mein keh deti hai, "Aap log meri army ho," ya apne viewers aur vlogging ka zikr karti hai.

Even agar Iqra ne kisi woman ke baare mein kaha ke comments toh mere liye aate hain, ya mere vlog par sabse zyada views thay, toh it's common sense ke usko pehle kaun jaanta tha? Iqra ki wajah se hi toh log usko jaanne lage. Lekin usne directly ye nahi kaha, kyunki sabko khud hi pata tha. But she made it clear ke ye uska apna area hai.

That's how you maintain balance in a relationship. Khamakha obsessiveness, jealousy, nagging aur disrespect relationship ko damage karte hain.

Understand that.

And about close-proximity scenes, the fact is that Mawra aisa bilkul nahi karti. Mawra apne co-stars ke saath comfortable, platonic way mein bond karti hai. Woh unke saath apne relationships mein time deti hai, understanding build karti hai aur trust develop hone ke baad hi comfortable hoti hai. Aur Mawra close-proximity scenes bhi nahi karti.

Ye samajhdari hoti hai. Close-proximity scenes se kya mil jayega? Logon ki tareef? Popularity? Ye bohat cheap trade-off hai. Aapko waise bhi recognition mil sakti hai, especially jab aap social media ki power ko sahi tarah use karte ho. Aajkal social media ke platform se aap zyada recognition unlock kar sakte ho aur logon ke saath connect kar sakte ho. Up your Instagram game.

Toh phir kya faida? Anjaan logon ke liye aur shipping ke liye? Shipping mein mardon ko faida hota hai. Lust mein us ladke ko entertainment mil jaati hai, lekin aapko kya milta hai?

Be sorted in life and have clarity. Ye tabhi hota hai jab aap apne emotions ko understand karo, cheezon ko parho aur knowledge gain karo.

Agar aapko lagta hai, "Oh my God, maine mistakes ki hain," toh of course, aapne kuch mistakes ki hongi. Lekin unhein understand karo, data ki tarah lo aur learn from them. Chase karne ya peeche jaane ki zaroorat nahi hai.

What is meant for you, cheezein aksar khud-ba-khud achhi ho jaati hain. Agar woh aapke liye meant nahi tha, toh phir cheezein aur mistakes hoti jaati hain. Shayad aap ek doosre ke liye meant hi nahi thay. Take it as it is. We are not right for each other. Respectfully move on.

Jab hum kisi ko door se dekhte hain, shuru shuru mein lagta hai, "Oh my God, shaadi ho jaaye!" Lekin jab shaadi mein rehte hain, toh kabhi wohi banda dekh kar lagta hai ke khamakha itni over-excitement kyun ho gayi thi isse shaadi karne ki.

Wohi toh hai: shuru mein hamari fantasy hoti hai aur hum jaldi se shaadi karna chahte hain. In the end, pehle aapko right partner choose karna hai, phir relationship mein apni skills use karni hain ke usko kaise handle karna hai.

Isliye behtar hai ke jo aligned nahi hain, unke saath cheez shuru mein hi khatam ho jaaye. Rejection is redirection. It is protection. Don't take it as an attack on your self-esteem.

Aur abhi two or three years le lo, just grow. Itne saal guzarne ke baad bhi, I keep reading and learning. Nothing gives you more contentment than realizing ke pehle main aisi thi, meri ye problem thi, aur maine khud ko update kar liya.

Hum humans apne brain ki full potential use nahi karte. There's so much potential, and mujhe abhi bohat si cheezein learn karni hain.

Hobbies develop karne se pehle apni inner world ko theek karo, usko grow karo aur rich banao, because you attract better things through your inner world, mindset and sortedness.